trigger

Talked to the RE. I am a poor responder (duh) and likely have low ovarian reserve, even though my FSH didn't show that. Maybe I've really deteriorated over the last year. I think I haven't had a test in about a year. But this is excellent news in time for my 35th birthday. Hurray!

Tonight is trigger. I have a 23, a 20, an almost 16, a 15, a 12 and a 10. So maybe, just maybe, that's 4 eggs. I had seriously considered canceling, but T and I really thought about it and discussed, and we're going ahead with the retrieval on Saturday. We'll see what we get from that. We'll do PGD anyway -- we did it with two embryos last time. And we'll see what happens.

And if (when) that one doesn't work, we will have one more go around with diluted Lu*pron, which is a protocol for poor responders. T wants to give it one last go before we quit entirely. I will comply, but in the mean time we are going to seriously look in to donor sperm and adoption. I want to have all my ducks in a row in case the third round doesn't work. Honestly, I think we are a lost cause, but since there is one last protocol we can try, I'm willing to try. That way we'll know we tried everything.

This cycle really took it out of me. I've been crying a lot. These cycles are torture. I want it to be over. I'm ready to move on. So we will start taking steps toward our goal of bringing home a child. We will try in several different areas. Eventually, one will work out.