Friday, December 21, 2012


We received a health report for the expectant mom. We got one piece of new information from it. I feel really in the dark about this. When we were matched with CC and O. we talked to them all of the time. This expectant mom, K, doesn't want contact.

We discussed if there were any issue that would make us change our minds about this match, and we decided there wasn't. So, we wait.

My mind is jumbled with some worry. Will the expectant mom change her mind? How will Henry deal with being a big brother? He regularly pushes little 1 year olds over, but he pretty much ignores little babies. How will I be able to handle two kids, especially if the baby is fussy? Methadone babies are usually fussy, so I am not anticipating an easy baby like Henry was.

Will I go insane with a very strong willed 3-year-old and a fussy baby?

My mother asked if we were going to paint the room. My mind hadn't even gone there.

We were supposed to visit my parents in Florida in March for vacation, but as it seems we're going to go down there at the end of May for a baby, that vacation is off.

We aren't talking to Henry about this specific baby, though we do talk with him that someday we will adopt another baby and it will come live with us and he will have a brother or sister and he will BE a big brother. We have decided to keep it abstract with him.

Henry just woke up. Gotta run.

Friday, December 07, 2012


We got chosen by one of the expectant moms.

She's on Methadone.
Some of the legal complications have been resolved already.
Birthfather is completely unknown.
She wants a completely closed adoption.

Holy shit. I'm completely freaking out and crying right now.

Due date 5/25.

Being shown

We got two expectant mother profile emails in one day after not hearing from the agency for about 3 months. We are having our profile shown to both expectant moms. These adoptions would be much more complicated than H's. Unknown birthfathers, perhaps methadone, etc. Are we ready to deal with these things? I'm not sure. But if we keep an open mind, we are more likely to be parents sooner. I suppose we can back out if things get overly complicated. These things happen.

I see babies and I feel ready. Babies don't make me sad, like they did when we were waiting for H. I feel a little scared. H has had a good week and I'm hoping we're over the horrible 3 hump and headed for a slightly better 3 1/2. What will happen when a new baby is introduced? I don't know. We do talk about it sometimes.

He likes giving things to babies, so that's good.

I think babies born with methadone addiction have a rough start as they detox, but generally do well if they weren't exposed to other drugs in utero.

We have to send our prints in to the FBI again and do the CORI and SORI and stuff again. Paperwork sucks.

Waiting to hear that we haven't been chosen sucks, though. I can't help but wonder when things will work. It will have been a pretty short wait if we got chosen now.