Tuesday, May 08, 2007

transfer 'scheduled'

The clinic called and my transfer is 'scheduled' for 11:45 on Thursday. I'm trying to schedule acupuncture for that day. I figure, I'll just do the pre-transfer acupuncture, and if (when) the news comes that none of them are healthy, then at least I'll be relaxed.

I asked about how the biopsy for the PGD went, and the nurse had no information. I asked if all 4 are okay, and the nurse I had no information. She did say, however, that they would call if any arrested, so I should go with the concept that no news is good news. I have full confidence that our embryos will survive. Our embryos seem to be strong, initially. I just don't have confidence that they will have healthy chromosomes.

I think I have allowed my hope to be elevated a little lately. I feel it creeping in there. I know that there is only has about a 5% chance of having a healthy embryo to transfer, but I can tell I have had a little hope recently. I need to squash it. Beat it down. I don't want to have hope. Hope hurts too much.

I'm also completely unable to focus on work, so I'm thinking of just taking the rest of the week off. My mother-in-law will be here anyway, and T is taking the time off. So why sit in front of a computer and suffer when I can fix up the house better, enjoy the sunshine and maybe relax at a coffee shop or something instead? I say screw work. Things aren't too busy there anyway. I can check in from home and take care of a few things if it becomes really necessary.

7 comments:

serenity said...

Hugs hon. I will hold your hope for you... will be hoping that you get at least one with healthy chromosomes, despite the 5% chances.

*hug*

AndI say screw work. Take some time off and enjoy the fantastic weather.

I'm thinking about you.

Samantha said...

Good luck and I'll keep my finger crossed! My RE always recommends taking time off work for a couple days following the transfer to reduce stress, so think of your time off as medically necessary!

ultimatejourney said...

I'm still hoping against the odds for you. Enjoy your time off. You deserve a break.

You're very sweet and perceptive to notice that I'm at the end of my rope. Unfortunately, the end of the rope just got chopped off. My blog has the latest, because I don't have the energy to send you a coherent email right now.

Hugs.

Sarah said...

how annoying that the nurse didn't have more info. you can squash your hopes because we're all hoping for you. and hurray for taking off work!

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I am hoping that you have at least one balanced one in there Rachel. Hang in there. I am convinced that this is the worst part of the whole cycle. Hugs!

Becks said...

Really hope all goes well for Thursday. I think time off sounds great, enjoy some relaxation time.

Hopeful Mother said...

Best of luck tomorrow! Will be hoping for at least one healthy embie to transfer!