Today I am 35.
T gave me an i.Pod Shuf.fle for my birthday this morning. It's green and adorable. It will be great for walking and gardening. As he was registering it for me, it asked the age of the primary user. I am now in the 35-44 age bracket. Great.
It's weird how this day, arbitrarily really, has such weight. It feels momentous, yet it's just another day. But here it is.
The MIL visit is going okay. It's a little difficult to try and grieve this cycle with her around, and I wouldn't mind a little time by myself, but it's not bad. She does have a tendency to babble a lot and say things that no one really cares about and has no response to. But if that's the worst thing my MIL does then I'm lucky.
Today I expressed an interested in working in the garden. I will go and buy some flowers and do that for a while. Then we are going out for barbecue for dinner. Yum!
Tomorrow there is a Mother's Day/Rachel's birthday party at my mom's house. My family birthday party has always been celebrated in conjunction with Mother's Day since they are always so close together. I think we may have skipped last year. It being my 35th and MIL being here, we can't skip. But needless to say I'm not so excited about the Mother's Day part of the party. I hope it's down-played. Everyone at the party knows what T and I are going through.
I am having caffeinated coffee for breakfast this morning. I'm such a rebel!
Thank you for your commiserations. I appreciate that you all are here with us as we grieve.