Friday, May 28, 2010

Not ready

So, our house is supposed to be ready to be shown on Wednesday. WEDNESDAY. I've been working all week, with my mom here to babysit Henry so that I can accomplish things. I have, but we are SO NOT EVEN CLOSE to being ready for this. I am freaking out. FREAKING OUT. Our house is still a complete mess. I don't know how we're going to keep our house neat enough to have an open house in it. How do we live in a house and keep it immaculate? We're going to have to take our microwave out of the kitchen. How do I live without a microwave?

To say I'm feeling stressed is an understatement. We have a LOT to do this weekend.


Friday, May 21, 2010


I'm a little bit worried about CC and O. Neither I nor the adoption lawyer has heard from them for 6 months. I have a blog with videos of Henry for them to watch and I have a y0utub3 video embedded on it and they haven't watched it.

They are normally very online.

I'm concerned. I do have some old phone numbers for them, but to be honest I'm afraid to call them. My last interaction with O. was a little uncomfortable and that was via IM. I'm not sure what I would do if it went that way on the phone.

We don't have much of an established relationship, so I'm not sure how to navigate this. They really wanted to maintain contact with us throughout Henry's life, so I want to make sure I know how to contact them.

Perhaps they just want some space, but that's not the feeling I get. The feeling I get is that they've hit a rough spot. I guess I just have to be patient and hope this rough spot gets smoothed over and then I will hear from them again.

But I remain worried.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


I got blogger errors when trying to publish comments, so I apologize if your comments don't appear. Some of them seem to have gotten inadvertently deleted. I'm sorry.

Blame blogger. :(

Thanks for them, though!

ETA: I think they appeared! Hurray!

"It gets easier!"

Parents of older babies/toddlers are always telling parents of newborns, "Hang in there! It gets easier!" I don't get this. Is this a breastfeeding thing? A lack of sleep thing?

I know I have an exceptionally easy baby. He was just as happy to be held as not held. He slept through the night at about 14 weeks, and had only 1 wake-up per night starting around 8-10 weeks. He doesn't really fuss or complain. He's happy to play by himself.

However, now that he's much more aware of what's going on and he's becoming mobile, he is demanding much more attention. I can't just plop him in a bouncy seat and make dinner. To me, it's getting HARDER. (Not that it's hard, really. It just takes a little more energy now.)

Yes, the feedings are less frequent now. But he used to nap ANYWHERE in the infant bucket seat. I could just carry it in the house and he'd continue to sleep. That doesn't happen any more. I can still transfer him from the car seat to the crib and he'll go back to sleep sometimes, but not every time. And as time goes on, this will happen less and less. That's not easier.

I don't get it. What's this "It gets easier!" thing about?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It happened

Well, the seller of the house agreed to all of our sticking points. No compromise on our side. So, I guess we're buying a house.

I had mentally moved on from this house and expected to be able to put our house on the market before buying. Now I have to go back to the "we might have two mortgages" and "it's only money" mindset. Yikes.

It's the right thing to do. We're getting an amazing deal on this house. We shouldn't be able to afford this house. In the long run, we will be very pleased. But right now it's scary.

But I guess it's a good scary. We need to get our house ready for the market. We have A LOT of cleaning to do. Overwhelming.

Friday, May 14, 2010


Life is busy. Henry's schedule really fills the day and I find it difficult to do too much. We're working on getting a mortgage and whipping our current house into shape so that we can get it on the market.

After our home inspection we found some issues with the house. Then we found some more. We're currently at an impasse with these negotiations and I'm not sure what's going to happen. We may come to an agreement and we may have to walk away.

I'll be okay if this falls through. I find this terribly nerve wracking. I think T will have a much harder time with it, but I told him that if this doesn't happen then it just wasn't meant to be. We've decided to still put our house on the market even if this falls through. I might secretly hope that it does fall through, or at least that things get pushed out even further. But if they don't, I guess that's okay too.

Henry is getting more and more mobile every day. He had his 9 month appointment and he weighs 20 lbs 9 oz! I can't believe it! He's eating all sorts of food and he's getting very independent. He is learning to drink from a sippy cup, which I'm pleased about.

I wrote an email to CC and O. and sent them some pictures and a link to some videos. I told them we'd love to hear from them. So far I haven't heard anything. I hope they're still online enough to receive the email. I can't imagine them not online, but I guess you never know what can happen.

I feel like so much is going on that I haven't been able to hang out with my other mom friends much lately. I feel bad as I was just forming some new friendships and suddenly I haven't seen anybody in a few weeks. Henry has been taking long naps in the morning making it difficult to get out of the house. He just seems to nap a lot right now. But I still like being home and I don't think I feel particularly bored, so I guess things are going okay.

Tomorrow my parents are coming over to watch Henry while T and I clean like the dickens.

Monday, May 10, 2010


We came to an agreement on the house.

I'm very, very, very afraid. I got major cold feet at the last minute, but my parents and T convinced me that this is the right thing to do in the long run. It will be a challenge in the short run, but it will be good for the long term.

I think I'm going to need to get a part time job.

Oy. Tell me we're doing the right thing.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

This day

I am overwhelmed by this day. We are dealing with the house stuff, but I'm thinking mostly of CC and of those who are still struggling and those who have decided to resolve without parenting.

Lori has said this so beautifully, I will leave it with her.

But mostly I am so thankful that I get to be the mommy to this precious little boy. I'm still amazed every single day that I get this privilege.

Friday, May 07, 2010


We put in an offer on a house. I don't think this offer will be accepted, but we'll see what happens. We have a number that we can't go past, and I will walk away if we get there.

It's a LOT OF MONEY and it makes me very, very nervous. We can swing it, but it's going to be a change for us, I think. I'm very nervous. Have I mentioned the nervous?

It's a lot of space that can fit the dog, 2 kids and my MIL if need be.

We'll see what happens. It needs A LOT OF WORK, but it's a great community that's close to the city, you can walk to some stores and some coffee and the bus, and the schools are some of the best in the state.

This is scary and I'm not sure what's going to happen. We could back out of this easily if we get cold feet. But here we go.

And no, it's not nearly as pretty on the outside as this house is.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010


Things are quiet. And by quiet, I mean busy in a normal way. Henry is beyond wonderful, as usual. He waved for the first time yesterday. He did it 2 or 3 times, so it definitely wasn't a fluke. I haven't got him to do it today, though. We'll keep trying.

He's eating finger foods and starting to move around more and more, though he still isn't doing a proper crawl.

I'm just so thankful every day that he is here, that I get to stay home and take care of him all day and that I truly enjoy it.

I guess I'm feeling a little wistful. The weather has been pretty good and we don't have to boil our water any more.