Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Slightly better

I'm feeling slightly better today. I think we're going with choice number 1 -- not the closest in looks, but close in personality. When given the choice between the two, we think we're rather have our kids fit in personality wise more than looks wise. When T and I talked about adoption, T's biggest fear was not identifying with the kid's personality. I think this choice reduces that fear for T. I have printed out the paperwork from the bank so that we can get started.

I went to my career counselor today. I sort of freaked out and told her that I need a short term job solution, not a long term one. I have too much going on to try and spend time figuring out what to do with my life. My attention span is shot. I don't have energy to focus on my ideal job. My energy is focused elsewhere right now. I just want to do some concrete work, though I decided that being a cashier probably isn't the best idea when I might get pregnant. I was thinking of doing law dictophone work (thanks to a suggestion from LIW), but I am afraid of sitting at home and drowning in sadness and the unknown. I do much better when I am around other people and busy talking to them. We did some work on my resume and she helped me a bit with my cover letters. I found one job that I will apply to, but I need to look for more. I look and look and look and I don't seem to find anything I feel like I can do right now. I think she's going to help me with that too.

So, I guess our donor is chosen. We need to work on the paperwork to get this moving. I'm starting to go part time in a week and a half. Things are changing, and I hope it's for the better.

10 comments:

Leah said...

Congratulations on making the donor decision. I truly pray that it is smooth sailing from here on. I'll be sending lots of happy thoughts and prayers your way.

megan said...

i can't imagine what you both have been going through...congratulations on choosing a donor. it sounds like you made a choice you will both be comfortable with. i hope you continue to feel a bit better, and find a job that fits where you are right now.
would you show us a bit more of your crafty work? i'd love to see some...

ultimatejourney said...

I'm so happy that things are moving forward for you guys. Choosing a donor is a huge step. Congratulations. I had a feeling you'd go with number 1 because I remembered you mentioning T's personality-related concerns.

Best of luck finding the right short-term job solution. I bet the career counselor will be able to tell you about things you weren't aware of.

I have lots of hope for great things to come!

Samantha said...

I'm that you feel good about moving forward. I know this is such a difficult step.

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

Congrats on making that huge decision!!! I realize that it was a tough one.

You have also made a great decision on the job front. Bravo on that score as well.

I am really impressed with all you are accomplishing under this stress.

Oh, and the dictaphone work that I am aware of happens in law offices and not at home. Granted, you never know how many people you will get to talk to, but you won't be alone at home.

Becks said...

It sounds like you have had a tough time coming to a decision on donors but I am glad that you are moving forward.

I hope you get some luck on the job front. Stress in one part of life is tough, without it being in two, so I'll keep my fingers crossed that you get sorted soon.

Happy said...

Ok, I've been lurking. I saw your site on Ultimate Journey. We're in the initial stage of DI so I hope you don't mind if I follow along.

Knock Me Up said...

Oh, it sounds like things are looking up. I'm so happy you were able to make the decision on the donor and reaching out to the career counselor sounds like just what the dr. ordered. Take care.

Natalie said...

Congrats on making that big decision!!

Working on your career at the same time of IF treatments is like bashing your head into a wall...repeatedly. Very good choice to aim for something shorter term and not "big career wise" right now.

Sarah said...

oh rachel, just catching up on your last 4 or 5 posts and wow, what a lot you've gone through in just a week or two! from negative beta to donor chosen in 10 days must be some kind of record!

change is good. no more of the same please and thanks very much. glad things are moving along.