Today is Monday and I didn't go to work. I woke up around 7ish, went for a walk, came home and took a shower, and then I started working on cleaning the kitchen. I only got as far as the dishes, but that was no small feat. Our kitchen is disgusting. I then made myself a decaf double mocha (we just started using the espresso machine we had in our basement) and the guy from the gas company changed our meter. I asked him some questions about our boiler and he was helpful, but I am worried about it because our house is heated with steam and I cannot tell how much water is in the boiler. There is an indicator glass thingy and I can't tell if it's full to the top or empty to the bottom. We have an automatic feeder system so it's supposed to take care of itself, but I am concerned. I just emptied about 6 gallons of water and I still can't see anything in the level window. We have a 'low water' alarm system thingy, and that's not saying the water is low, but how could I have emptied 6 gallons without seeing a meniscus? I just don't get it.
Anyway, ArtBeat was a hit. The weather couldn't have been better, and we had all sorts of knitters and crocheters swarm at our booth to contribute. I gave a few lessons, and I got a connection to someone in a Park & Rec department who may be hiring to teach knitting to teenagers -- so maybe a new part time job. E came by with baby S, and ultimatejourney and her hubby visited too, as well as a bunch of other friends of mine. There were people at the booth who didn't speak any English, but I saw a look in their eye and just gave them some yarn and knitting needles, and they sat down and knitted up something beautiful! Hurray for the universal language of knitting! I had a great time and the whole thing went wonderfully.
I called the financial coordinator at my RE's office to see our insurance status. We should be hearing by the end of the week. If we get denied, we can still go ahead with the dIUI and pay for it out of pocked while we appeal. If we get coverage in the appeal, they will reimburse us for the procedure. So, we are getting really close. It should be about two and a half weeks. I have a phone call with the nurse practitioner to see if we do one or two inseminations per cycle. I have gotten pregnant on one insemination before (read: by having sex once during my fertile period -- that was pregnancy #2) but I'm totally paranoid about it not working this time.
Anyway, while I was typing this I head the water turn on and our boiler filled itself with water again. So, it must be working. The indicator must be clogged or something. Maybe we'll call the plumber.
Not working full time is going well so far today. It's only noon and I feel like I've accomplished a lot. Plus, I will do a bunch more. I'm going to bleed the boiler again.
Oh, there was an adoption piece on NPR this morning. It was about interracial adoption, and though we aren't planning on adopting just yet, we feel that adoption issues are quite related to insemination issues. At the very end, the mom talked about her children meeting their birth mother and looking at her son walking with his birth mother and how they walked the same way and how that affected her so strongly. This made both of us cry. It is just that kind of thing -- knowing that we will not see some of these small, physical things that T does being present in our children that still make us sad. We know we will love our children fully and completely, but that will always be there, just like it is still there for that mother. Her children are grown now, but you can still hear it in her voice how moved she was. I keep wondering about the future with our children and whether we will meet our donor or not.
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7 comments:
congrats on the part time status and getting so close to the new cycle.
the whole nature vs. nurture thing is so interesting, though i know it wasn't your plan for your family to be the experiment. i don't think it diminishes your love for your future child at all to mourn the loss of the bio connection to your husband.
My dad told me about that transracial adoption interview on NPR too and we discussed what the interview talked about (the same walk thing). It's a small world, huh? Although, we're in Philly and you're in Boston so it's not THAT far apart.
My husband and I discussed the meeting the donor thing (since we would like a open donor) and he said that at this point he doesn't think he wants to meet, but he does want the continued medical information. We are in FULL agreement on that. My big fear is that there could be something wrong with our child and I wouldn't be able to ask the bank to find out because he is anonymous.
Nature vs. nurture? Well, your child could be totally different from you if he/she was 100% biologically yours. It's sort of a crap shoot. However, I do think that you pass on personality traits to your child (only my opinion, I have no research to back it up), and w/adoption I was afraid that we would end up with a majorly hyper child because both of us are really mellow, lower energy need a lot of sleep people.
Congrats on part time! That is my dream and will be a reality after (hopefully) Babykins enters our life.
Working part time sounds great! Enjoy.
Unfortunately, DI isn't perfect. There is a loss that will never go away, even though it will hopefully fade into the background with time. I'm really looking forward to seeing how much our kids end up being like hubby, even though it probably won't be the physical traits that will match exactly.
My husband and I have been having the donor sperm discussions in depth over the last few days. I am also an adopted child so all of these things are ringing a bell pretty loudly in my head right now.
I do know my biological father and I am a spitting image of him physically. Our mannerisms and speech patterns are the same. But I do have some of his personality traits, but they have a different spin - that of my parent's. My parents who raised me have had a bigger impact in my morals and values and my way of interacting with people. Nature does play a big part, but nurture can really shape things.
I am so glad that you are enjoying working part time. I would love to be able to do that. Thinking of you my dear.
I am sure I would have cried from that NPR story as well. Loss is something that I think we learn to cope with but never truly get over...
Sounds like you are making the best of your time off. I have been thinking about you and hoping that everything is going ok....
XOXO
I hope that you get the insurance coverage. It's ridiculous that they don't want to cover you. It's a hell of a lot cheaper for them!
I didn't hear the NPR story, but I'll have to got and search it out. There is definitely a loss with not having the biology. No one will look at your child and say, "they look just like T." On the other hand, maybe they'll also be freed of any expectation and can just be who they are.
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