I didn't get anything done at work today. I did about an hour's worth of work all day.
I'm also feeling really isolated. I'm a bit isolated at work now that I've changed offices. I haven't really minded the new office until today, though. But I'm definitely feeling isolated with all this DI stuff. I do know a couple of people in the blogosphere who are dealing with DI issues, and that definitely helps a little, but I'm feeling like I need more. I really want to find a support group where people are dealing with their emotions about DI, but nothing I have found online is like that. Maybe it's different once you're pregnant, but now I'm just feeling so very alone in all of this.
At RESOLVE there are many donor egg groups, but I have yet to see a donor sperm group. Donor egg definitely has similar issues, but it is a different process (way more difficult than DI), and the non-biological aspect of it is different because though it is not the mother's eggs, the woman does carry the child which is a very physical thing. It is just feeling different to me right now.
I just don't feel like I have anywhere to turn to talk about this. My therapist is on vacation, and I just don't know what to do. I do not want to go back on this decision. I still am happy with our choice and our donor. I just want to talk to people about what I am feeling and to hear what they are feeling. I just don't know where to go.
I took my last BCP yesterday. Things are going to happen soon.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
I hear you! I just posted something similar. This is such a BIG thing and I can't tell anyone! All my coworkers keep asking me if I'm alright because I have a bunch of doctors appointments.
well you're right, i don't know what it's like to go through what you're going through, but i do want to hear all about it and so many of us want to be here for you. that said, it is very reassuring to find a group facing the same issues, i hope you're able to find one. it seems like there would be, right?
I have been reading your blog, and wanted to share with you this quote today:
...Life is too short to wake up every morning with regrets,
so love the people who treat you right,
forget about the ones who don't,
and believe that everything happens for a reason....
If you get a chance, TAKE IT,
if it changes your life, LET IT.
Nobody said that it would be easy,
they just promised it would be worth it!!!
I send you a big hug and hope that you feel better!
PS.. I also love to knit and crochet!
Why can't you post about the donor issues here? There are bloggers who have gone through donor IUI/sperm. Even those of us who haven't can listen (well, read.) I know that there are a bunch of issues related to donor sperm and we have looked into using it ourselves.
If you ever want to chat or vent some of your feelings off your blog, I am always available by email.
Wow, last BCP already! I'm getting excited for you.
I'm always around if there's anything I can do. I've been told I'm a good listener, although I understand if it's not helpful since we're not in the same place. I just wish there was more I could do. I know how hard it is.
i'm sorry you're feeling like you're going through this alone. i have little to offer in the way of specific support for DI issues other than as a fellow IFer. i hope you feel like you can lay it all out here in your blog, but understand your wanting something more. there seems to be a very active support community for donor conception in australia, but nothing really in north america. weird.
thinking of you. this must be a really conflicting time of excitement for your upcoming cycle and simultaneous loss. i hope you find a place to talk about how you're feeling (if not here -- i still want to encourage you on that option) and that you find the support you need.
Have you tried ivfconnections.com? I haven't spent any time on it, but they have what looks like a pretty busy donor sperm thread.
I'm on to donor eggs if my 2nd IVF doesn't work next month. UGH - so not fun.
Oh Rachel, I'm so sorry this is such a tumeltuous time. I hope you realize how much we all want to support you, but I do understand how you would like to talk with those who have been through this exact experience. I too may have to face donor genetics (egg), and I know my emotions change day to day, even hour to hour on the prospect.
I hope you find an outlet. And I hope you remember we are all with you. (((hugs)))
This is all so difficult huh? I too wish that there was a donor sperm support group. IVF connections does have one I think. I am right there with you honey, and I am here if you need me. Hugs!
Hi there Rachel
Thank you for your support over at my blog.
I'm sorry you're feeling lonely.
The two girls who've managed to get pregnant in my MindBody group are the only two using donor sperm.
I wonder if one of them might be up for an e mail chat? Let me know and I can find out...
I know we're all here to do as much supporting as we can.
xx
Sounds like a call for starting a new group! Could you check with your Resolve group and see if they would let you setup a donor sperm discussion group?
I figure if you want some support, so do other people!
It is worth a try, right?
Also, with some of the boards you can specifically start a new topic - maybe you could get a channgel going on one of your favorite boards (if you have one).
I figure this blog is a good outlet, but I've noticed the same thing you have after reading your posts - there really are only a few people going through donor sperm issues right now.
Go for it - start a group!
Post a Comment