It was negative. 100% lily white no doubt negative.
I can't say I'm not a little disappointed, but in the end it might be better this way. Having another miscarriage would be worse. Having that tiny bit of hope still there with me is harder. Now we can just mourn our losses and move on. Don't know what those twinges were. In fact, after I got the negative and went back to bed, I felt one. I kind of want to stop taking the progesterone now, but I feel like I have to wait until after the blood test. Is that stupid?
T is still sleeping. I know he is sad, but his response was, "Well, at least we have an answer," so I guess we can now look a donors together.
Even though I've expected to move on to donor all along, it's still a really weird concept to me. But we are going to do this together, and in the end, when we have a baby, it will all be worth it.
Life as an adoptive family.
My Story
- Rachel
- 4 miscarriages, 3 failed IVFs with PGD, 2 different sperm donors, 1 diagnosis of balanced translocation. Now we are the proud parents of a boy via domestic infant semi-open adoption. We had a failed match for kid #2 and are now matched again.
16 comments:
I am so sorry Rachel. Please know that my thoughts are with you today. I am here for you if you need me. Hugs.
I'm so, so sorry. Even when the odds aren't in your favor and your expectations aren't high, it's far from easy to reach the end of the road to a fully biological child. It's an outcome nobody should have to face.
Using a donor is still a slightly strange concept for me. It definitely takes some getting used to. But I really believe that once we have our children, we won't be able to imagine our families any other way.
We're having a quiet weekend for once, so if there's anything at all I can do to make things easier on you, please call.
I am so sorry and so sad for you and your husband.
I'm sorry Rachel. You and T are in my thoughts today.
Moving on from having a biological child is a difficult struggle that me and my DH go through every day. I agree with u. journey; no one should have to deal with this. However, I also agree again with u. journey that once we build our families, it won't matter how. We will finally all be mothers; I can only imagine how happy we all will be.
Feel free to call me if you need anything. You and T are in me and J's thoughts and prayers today.
I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of hugs.
I'm so sorry Rachel. You're in my thoughts.
Erica
I'm so sorry :( Wishing you and your DH best wishes.
Sweetie, I'm sorry. I hope you're doing okay.
*hug* hon...
:( So disappointing, even if expected. I'm sorry.
I am sorry that stick was white. It is an awful thing to see.
I'm so sorry. (((hug)))
It is disappointing, oh so. The thought of getting off the infertility rollercoaster is SO AMAZING......you can't help but hope.
I'm here with you until YOU DO get off this bumpy ride.
so sorry- my heart is with you! It's just a dang shame this has to be such a painful experience- I hope you take time for yourslef before your next step.
i am sorry, rachel, to hear about the bfn and i wish you the best - you deserve nothing but
So Rachel, I so hoped you'd beat the odds. It sounds like you are dealing with this really well, and I hope you continue to do so.
Hugs
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