T came to therapy with me this morning. We talked a lot about the implications of sperm donation. We did tell her our story, and she did snicker in that "If it weren't so sad it would be funny," kind of way (which is how T and I are feeling about this whole thing right now). One of the things I really like about my therapist (D) is she doesn't give us that false, "Well, you never know!" attitude that the nurses at our RE's office do. T and I are realists. We realize that this IVF working out is quite remote, and we need to make contingency plans. When I say to D, "We think this isn't going to work," she will reply, "Well, it probably won't." I like that.
We are planning to tell our child that s/he is donor conceived. T and I have agreed on this all along, and we think it is what is best for the child and for us. We don't want to walk around worried that our child will 'discover' his/her true origins. We want our child to always know that this is where s/he came from, and think that it is a normal part of who s/he is. But we always figured that though it isn't a secret, it just wouldn't come up much.
What we didn't think about is how three year olds like to share things they know with random people. So, when said three year old goes to preschool, we will have to prepare the teachers for if or when that information comes up. We don't want to put our kid in a situation where, if for some reason s/he comes out with this info that a different adult will try and 'correct' what our kid has been told. I just hadn't thought about stuff like that before. It's weird.
As far has how I'm feeling 3dp5dt, my b00bs are sore, which they were before transfer due to all the progesterone I'm shoving up my hoo-ha. I'm definitely feeling something in my uterus, but I can't say that it's 'twinges' or 'cramps.' I have had one or two cramps today, but in general I'm just aware that my uterus is there. It sort of feels heavy. I can't explain it more than that. I've also been tired and somewhat cranky, but when it's 94 and humid, everybody feels that way.
I went to see the career counselor today as well. I think it was good. I think she will help me. She will help me get out of the trap I feel I am in right now, and then she will help me head toward some work that I will want to do in the future. I liked her. She gave me homework. I think that's good.
So, all and all I think we're doing pretty well, all things considered.
Oh, and here's a caterpillar I crocheted.
13 comments:
I love the caterpillar - it is so cute!
I am glad the therapist is realistic. I think it makes it all that much easier when you don't have someone blowing sunshine up your ass.
The caterpillar is ADORABLE!
Have you read "Helping the Stork" yet? It talks about a lot of the practical implications of using donor sperm. It also has a lot of quotes from DI parents, which I found interesting. You might find it helpful, and it's a pretty quick read.
I'm glad you're taking charge of the things in your life that you can control.
I had never imagined all of the implications of using donor sperm. There is certainly is a lot to think about in that regard. I hope you'll be able to find your answers.
The catepillar is so cute!
It is effing hot here. It sucks.
Your therapist sounds like a wonderful person. I have found much solace in therapy during our infertility journey.
I absolutely adore your animals. I am looking for a new hobby. How hard is it to crochet? Do you use patterns?
That little guy is really cute!!
I think it is fabulous that you are already thinking of all of the issues surrounding raising a child that was conceived with the help of donor sperm. I agree that honesty is the absolute best policy. Trust yourselves that you will figure out the best way to help your child to take it in stride. You are clearly adept at talking about feelings!!
I seriously cannot help but hope that those physical experiences are a good sign. I know it is unlikely, but I simply can't help it. But I don't blame you one bit for not being hopeful!
I agree that it is incredibly hot here. Even for me - and I like it hot. But I hate to use our ACs these days since we are trying to control our budget and they really drive up our electricity bills. I am really looking forward to the cool down that is expected to happen tomorrow.
You are CLEVER!! (In more ways than one)
I love that caterpillar!
You aren't kidding about the heat. I feel like I'm melting anytime I step outside my little A/C bubble. Ugh!!
I'm glad you have a therapist who you like. There's so much to think about and consider when you're going to do something a "different" way... but I'm sure many other parents have gone through the donor issues. There's got to be a way to navigate it, right?
I found your blog through Ultimate Journey's blog and found it very interesting. We are currently investigating DI (after being burned by adoption). I was pleasantly surprised when I actually checked out a sperm bank. So, we'll see what happens. I was especially suprised to learn that there is an open donor option. I will enjoy following your journey to parenthood.
love the caterpillar!!!
wow, that is a lot to think about! sounds like it's been really great for you to start getting your head around these ideas, but also nice to know you'll have a couple of years to see what feels right before you have a three year old. i have a feeling your instincts are going to be great.
Really impressed with the caterpillar!!
I really do hope you get the best surprise ever soon. If not, sounds like you have the next steps and its implications covered well.
ADORABLE CATERPILLAR -- I'm very jealous. Good luck with everything, I really hope this works out for you!
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