Friday, May 12, 2006


Does this catch your eye? Does it? Huh? Well, there are no naked pictures here. But I bet people who search and don't usually get my blog will have it as a result this time around. Ha!

Anyway, I wrote naked because today is my birthday. And that made me think of birthday suits. And that made me think naked. Dumb, I know, but those titles are very difficult. I never know what to label my posts. I suppose I could leave it blank or put the date or something boring like that. Maybe I will when I run out of ideas.

So, today's my birthday. I'm 34. See, my profile changed to say 34. I'm 34 now. Not too old, but it's weighing a little heavy on me. I mean, I don't mind being old per se. It's just that when there are reproductive issues, each year has so much more meaning. And this time around I'm really fine in terms of age, but who knows how long it's going to take? And then how old will I be the second time around? I know, I'm a worry wart. But I just don't like birthdays anymore. So there.

That being said, T and I are going to the Craigie Street Bistrot for dinner tonight. It's supposed to be yummy. Yes, we have a reservation. Hopefully we won't be completely soaking wet when we get in there. It's really supposed to rain. I doubt they'll get any games in this weekend. It's supposed to be that bad. Rain, rain and more rain. Inches and inches of rain.

We desperately need to go food shopping, as we didn't go last weekend, and on Sunday I think we may go see a movie with E and R (her husband). We're thinking of seeing Lonesome Jim or Thank You for Smoking. I haven't seen a movie for ages. We saw V for Vendetta at the IMAX maybe a month ago. Or more. I don't remember. But that was the last movie we saw.

It is mother's day this weekend. My mother will be in Las Vegas, so nothing eventful is going to happen as a result of that. My mother wanted all of her children to get together in her absence, but I didn't want to host it, and what's the tie-in on mother's day if she's not there? Besides, I'm not really in a celebrating mother's day kind of mood. At least she understood that. But her big fear is that we won't get together after she's gone. I think that is not true at all. We will get together on holidays and on people's birthdays and whatnot. But mother's day is for one's own mother. Just like anniversaries are for couples. My mom doesn't think so, but I do. The only person who I want to remember our anniversary is T. Actually, I think he's more into anniversaries than I am anyway. I don't put significant value on those kinds of things. Not that someone completely forgetting something wouldn't bum me out.

I am starting to be scared that the doctor at the IVF place is going to say something to change Tabor's mind about ttc. This is my new fear to obsess about. I don't know what they would say that would make him think that way, but I consider it a definite possibility. I'm just not ready to give up ttc yet. I can't really explain why, but I'm not ready yet. I want T to not be ready yet, too. I'm just worried about how long this will take.

And now we've made our conversation circle because I'm back to hating my birthday again. Thank you! Thank you very much. I am here for your daily neurotic entertainment. Don't forget to tip your waiter.


UtRus said...

happy birthday! i hope you have a nice dinner out :)

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

Rachel, I hope that you had a wonderful birthday dinner last night. Hugs!