Monday, May 08, 2006

Gardening fixes everything

In order to distract myself, I have preoccupied myself with our yard. Right now, growing in the Henry Street yard are Grandpa Ott Morning Glories, two types of clematis, a strawberry plant, Greek oregano, basil and cilantro, plus the hosta, tulips, daffodils and crocuses that grew by themselves. Oh, and the hanging basket of pansies on the porch, which now has a bird's nest with 5 eggs in it! I'm hoping to take the actual pictures of my plants and flowers and post them. We'll see if that actually gets done. I also weeded the grass. It's totally overrun with dandelions and other weeds. I'm not sure if it's salvagable, but I tried to make it look a little less awful. I love working out in the yard. It rules. I love to see my little seedlings popping up. The morning glories are doing great so far. It's kind of weird, but I feel like the flowers' mommy. They're my little flower babies. I'm nurturing them and making them grow. I guess they're satisfying some need that I have while we're in waiting over this whole baby process. The foxglove and yarrow I planted haven't sprouted yet, though. I'm not sure if they'll actually come up. I'm going to give it until after my exam, and if they're not growing by then I'll have to buy some plants and put them in there.

Went to my tutoring session with E yesterday. It was helpful, I think. I went over her old exam and made sure I could do the problems. I felt like her exam was way easier than the midterm was, which is possible since we didn't have the same prof. But it really pissed me off. Her exam seemed so reasonable. But hopefully the studying will help. We're going to do another one either this coming weekend or the next one.

I also didn't feel too bad being around her. That made me feel better. I looked at the paint job in the baby's room and it was an awesome purpley-blue color. It's so weird that she's in her third trimester and I feel like she barely looks pregant. She's so skinny. I mean, you can see her belly, but it's not nearly as huge as I would expect with 8 more weeks left. But anyway, I was glad that being around her didn't make me feel that bad.

I briefly talked to E's sister on the phone. She asked how married life is. It was weird that I just couldn't answer, "Great!" I mean, as far as being married to T goes, everything is great. But with all this IF/BT stuff going on, I just feel like I can't answer too positively. But then again, I don't want it to sound like things aren't going well between me and T, because things are going well. Well, except for this whole baby thing. I just don't know how to respond. Like I don't know how to respond when people ask me how I'm doing. I usually just muster an, "Okay," and leave it at that. That's how I am. I'm okay.

Especially when I'm outside gardening.


UtRus said...

you know, even with all our fertility issues i have never really felt bad around my pregnant friends. for some reason it doesn't really bother me too much. glad your time with E was not so bad. keep gardening and hang in there.

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I am glad that gardening is such a good escape for you. I have determined that I need a hobby, but I am not quite sure what I want it to be.

I am glad that hanging out with E was okay. I have a hard time being around pregnant people right now. I am hoping that one day I can move past that.

Hugs to you!