Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Trying to be happy

I have decided that I need to try to be happy. Yesterday, it worked. I came home from work and did laundry, emptied the dishwasher, washed dishes and made a wonderful chicken stew. It was delicious. I loved it. This is what I wanted to do when I started working part time. I wanted to come home and do stuff around the house and cook more. And that's what it did. It felt really good. I felt almost content. I'm trying really, really hard not to think about the IUI and what may or may not happen. I just want to be in a good place.

Today I did some errands after work. Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend who had her last IVF transfer on Sunday. We're going to knit. Oh, and I made a couple of more beautiful hats. Don't have pics yet, but I'll post them if I do.

The only problem is my upper back and neck seem to have seized up. I'm kind of in major pain. The right side was a problem last week, and it kept getting better, and then this morning the left side seized. I'm trying to sit with the heating pad a lot, but it's pretty painful. I'm worried that it may be the keyboard at work. It's pretty high. But, we'll see. I suppose I could ask for a sliding keyboard tray. That might help. It's just that I'm only a temp, and I don't know if they'd rather get a new person than a keyboard tray. But I guess it doesn't hurt to ask.

And T isn't doing this happiness thing quite the way I am. He's been feeling pretty down lately. I wish there were something I could do to make him feel better, but it seems I can't. And it's so difficult to force yourself to be happy when you see your beloved husband so down. I want to help him. I'm so ready for all of this to be over.


Trace said...

I'm glad that deciding to be happy worked and it sounds like you got a lot accomplished. I know when I'm home for extended periods I don't do things like clean or make meals even though I fantasize that I will be a domestic diva...mayby (un)domestic diva is a better description. It's GREAT that you know people who are going through infertility treatments also. I am envious. Anyway, I'm sending you good vibes!!

Sarah said...

chicken stew and apple crisp sound WONDERFUL! it may sounds trite but sometimes those are just the things you need to feed a broken spirit. i the neck pain is short lived.

niobe said...

It's awfully hard to be happy when your husband is not so happy. And, unfortunately, there's little you can do to help someone else who's feeling down. (at least that's been my experience). I'm so hoping that this IUI will be *the* one.

Looking foward to seeing pics of the hats. You are so talented. (but you know that already)