I have decided that I need to try to be happy. Yesterday, it worked. I came home from work and did laundry, emptied the dishwasher, washed dishes and made a wonderful chicken stew. It was delicious. I loved it. This is what I wanted to do when I started working part time. I wanted to come home and do stuff around the house and cook more. And that's what it did. It felt really good. I felt almost content. I'm trying really, really hard not to think about the IUI and what may or may not happen. I just want to be in a good place.
Today I did some errands after work. Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend who had her last IVF transfer on Sunday. We're going to knit. Oh, and I made a couple of more beautiful hats. Don't have pics yet, but I'll post them if I do.
The only problem is my upper back and neck seem to have seized up. I'm kind of in major pain. The right side was a problem last week, and it kept getting better, and then this morning the left side seized. I'm trying to sit with the heating pad a lot, but it's pretty painful. I'm worried that it may be the keyboard at work. It's pretty high. But, we'll see. I suppose I could ask for a sliding keyboard tray. That might help. It's just that I'm only a temp, and I don't know if they'd rather get a new person than a keyboard tray. But I guess it doesn't hurt to ask.
And T isn't doing this happiness thing quite the way I am. He's been feeling pretty down lately. I wish there were something I could do to make him feel better, but it seems I can't. And it's so difficult to force yourself to be happy when you see your beloved husband so down. I want to help him. I'm so ready for all of this to be over.