I managed to get and take the Cl0mid last night. I have decided to consider that a good thing. It ups our chances. Maybe we can get this thing done. Maybe this ordeal will be over for a while. Maybe I can feel like we're moving on.
So, last night I slept like crap. Oh, I should mention that I accepted a month long temp job starting on Tuesday. So, of course I was up for about an hour between 2:37 and 3:23 or so worrying whether this temp job will be flexible enough to accommodate my needs. Rosh Hashana is on Sept 13, and I will need that day off. Not to mention I have to leave early to go pick up the sperm from the sperm bank at some point. And then, I think I want to take the day for my IUI. I want to do something akin to bed rest that day, I think. But I don't know which day the IUI will be. So, of course I was up for that hour worrying about that. Isn't that stupid?
I hated my job and I finally quit, but I always knew I could kind of make my schedule as I needed to. So, it's odd that I am more stressed now that I do not have my stressful job. But the temp job sounds pretty easy, is really close by, and pays a decent rate. And it's for one month, which is not very long. So, I think I should do it. It probably won't be a problem if I come in a little late or have to leave a little early a couple of times -- and if I need a couple of days off. I'm going to talk to the woman at the temp agency to make sure I'm up front about it.
I also have an interview for a part time job. But it's only like 10-15 hours a week, and I don't know what I'd do for the other hours of the week. I guess I don't need to worry about it too much unless I'm offered the job. It's with a professional organizer, which I just think is so cool, and there is room to grow if I want. I like that idea. And I like the idea of part time. But I'd rather work 20-30 hours. I don't know.
So, here it is CD 6. The IUI will be in about a week. I'm extremely nervous about it. This will be my 8th attempt at conceiving a viable child. (3 pregnancies, 3 IVFs and 1 dIUI are behind me. I'm not counting all the regular s.ex we had when we didn't conceive.) This feels like a lot. And all of this has occurred within two years. It's crazy. It's non-stop. It has f#cked up our entire married life. I want a break. I need a break. But I can't take a break until I know a baby is on its way.