Thursday, August 30, 2007

worries

I managed to get and take the Cl0mid last night. I have decided to consider that a good thing. It ups our chances. Maybe we can get this thing done. Maybe this ordeal will be over for a while. Maybe I can feel like we're moving on.

So, last night I slept like crap. Oh, I should mention that I accepted a month long temp job starting on Tuesday. So, of course I was up for about an hour between 2:37 and 3:23 or so worrying whether this temp job will be flexible enough to accommodate my needs. Rosh Hashana is on Sept 13, and I will need that day off. Not to mention I have to leave early to go pick up the sperm from the sperm bank at some point. And then, I think I want to take the day for my IUI. I want to do something akin to bed rest that day, I think. But I don't know which day the IUI will be. So, of course I was up for that hour worrying about that. Isn't that stupid?

I hated my job and I finally quit, but I always knew I could kind of make my schedule as I needed to. So, it's odd that I am more stressed now that I do not have my stressful job. But the temp job sounds pretty easy, is really close by, and pays a decent rate. And it's for one month, which is not very long. So, I think I should do it. It probably won't be a problem if I come in a little late or have to leave a little early a couple of times -- and if I need a couple of days off. I'm going to talk to the woman at the temp agency to make sure I'm up front about it.

I also have an interview for a part time job. But it's only like 10-15 hours a week, and I don't know what I'd do for the other hours of the week. I guess I don't need to worry about it too much unless I'm offered the job. It's with a professional organizer, which I just think is so cool, and there is room to grow if I want. I like that idea. And I like the idea of part time. But I'd rather work 20-30 hours. I don't know.

So, here it is CD 6. The IUI will be in about a week. I'm extremely nervous about it. This will be my 8th attempt at conceiving a viable child. (3 pregnancies, 3 IVFs and 1 dIUI are behind me. I'm not counting all the regular s.ex we had when we didn't conceive.) This feels like a lot. And all of this has occurred within two years. It's crazy. It's non-stop. It has f#cked up our entire married life. I want a break. I need a break. But I can't take a break until I know a baby is on its way.

Gooooooo Cl0mid!

12 comments:

serenity said...

Hoping for you, Rachel...

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Oh, Rachel, I hope this time works for you!

Reproductive Jeans said...

Im cheering on the clomid for you Rachel...just wanted you to know I continue to think about you and prayer for the best. Hope for a new cycle!

Knock Me Up said...

Go clomid!!

I love the idea of working for a professional organizer -- that would be my dream job. If you like that kind of thing, then maybe you can make it into more hours.

Take care.

Becks said...

Go Clomid Go. Go Clomid Go. Hope this is the lucky time for you Rachel.

Trace said...

I call it the midnight ghosts (the following morning everything is always fine). Good luck w/the possible job and the Clomid!!

Erin said...

I hope the clomid does the trick!

Don't worry about your temp job messing with your cycle - just do what you need to do. And hopefully the organizing job will work out, that sounds so cool!

Good luck with everything!!

Almamay said...

Exciting news!

My Reality said...

If you would like practice for the organizing job, you can come here and have hours and hours of organizing! Closets, basement, kitchen - take your pick!

I am glad you got your clomid and wishing you luck with this cycle.

ultimatejourney said...

I hope your ovaries get along well with the Clo.mid and make a beautiful egg that can't help but get fertilized (and implanted, and all the rest...)

Artblog said...

Good luck rachel, hope it works out this time :)

Sara said...

Go clomid go indeed! Good luck!