It is rainy and cold again here in the delightful northeast. I slept extra late because it was so dark. I had a weird dream that I got a huge Spiderman tatoo on my shoulder and upper arm, and I really hated it. When I wore short sleeves, Spidey was still visible and I was so pissed at myself for getting that tatoo. Then I had another dream later that night where I told my dad that I dreamed I had a spiderman tatoo, and how I was pissed because it was still visible in short sleeves. How very meta.
T and I are off to go have breakfast out (his favorite thing to do) and then do errands. We're going to look at ranges since when we went last weekend the store had already closed. We have run out of cream for coffee, which is why we're so motivated to go out. I have actually weaned myself off of the coffee since we're ttc again, but he is still very addicted. We just love coffee. We're coffee snobs, actually. We have our coffee shipped to us from Portland, OR. I know, it's totally insane. We bulk order it and keep it in the freezer.
We will also go food shopping, and possible look for some clothes for me, but I'm not sure I'm in the mood. We decided to not shower, and I am trying to calk the tub/shower in our bathroom because it's not sealed very well. This is my third attempt. So I may feel too dirty to try on new clothes. We really need to redo the bathroom, but since we need a new roof and we need to paint the outside of the house, I really don't see it happening any time soon.
I'm feeling paranoid about the pg thing now, too. I'm so obsessive, it even bothers me. I do bbts, and the way the pattern is going, I think I could be pg. And I keep thinking that my boobs hurt. But it also could just totally be in my head. I want to be pregnant (read: stay pregnant) so badly, but part of me wants one more month because of the job switch thingy. But then I think, if I am lucky enough to get a healthy pregnancy, then all of that worry and stuff will quickly melt away. That is the thing that I want the most, so I should simply ignore that other stuff and just do what I need to do. As T always tells me, it will all work out in the end. I just wish I wasn't such a worrier! I guess it's a good thing we have an appointment to see a therapist on Tuesday.