Wednesday, April 04, 2007

where's spring?

It was opening day for my beloved Red Sox on Monday. They did terribly. It was difficult to watch. The second game of the season is tonight and I'm hoping they redeem themselves. It's difficult to believe that baseball is here while the weather is the way it is. It's overcast and chilly. It's the kind of cold that goes through you jacket and seeps into your bones. It's gross. I don't like it. I want sun. I don't mind if it stays cool, but I would like it to be sunny.

I did some gardening and cleaning up of our yard this weekend. It was nice to be out there and digging in the dirt. My perennials are definitely starting to come up, which is nice. The crocuses are in full bloom and our daffodils and tulips are coming up. Our rhododendron is looking particularly sad, so I fertilized it and I hope it will perk up. It looked sad after last winter and that helped it, but it looks even worse than last year. I wonder if we'll have to get a new one. The lilac is budding. We have gravel in our yard that we would like to replace with grass, but somehow I doubt that will happen. I will need help, and it can be difficult to light a fire under T's butt to take care of things. He's a major procrastinator.

It's still a week from my failed cycle visit with the nurse practitioner. In the mean time I feel like I'm spending lots of time with my therapist. I definitely am depressed. It's difficult to light a fire under my butt lately. But last night I did make dinner (a real dinner, not some thrown together crap) and some matzah brickle. It's bad for you, but man is it yummy. That's big for me. I've barely been motivating the last week or so. I keep meaning to use our elliptical, but I haven't. When it's warmer I have been walking, but it's been a few days now. I need to exercise to elevate my mood.

I keep thinking of wanting to get away, but we're so busy I can't find the time. I have a seder with my family (even though it's near the end of Passover) on Saturday. Next Saturday I have a dentist appointment. The Saturday after that is the MS Walk I'm doing with my family (my grandfather had MS and my sister-in-law was diagnosed 5 years ago). Then my mil is coming soon after that and we have to get the house ready for her. The guest bedroom is in shambles and we have a couple of projects to complete in order to make the house livable. This is taking us to the end of May before we'll have any time to get away. And I have a cycle going on somewhere in there. So here we stay. I've got to find some way to get out of the house that isn't work, though. And my knitting group won't meet this week because of Easter.

Please, oh please let the sun come out!


Sarah said...

i hate this time of year. just when you start to get excited for flowers to bloom, you end up stuck with long gray days.

it is true exercize elevates your mood, but cut yourself some slack. you'll do it when you're ready. gardening and cooking are great little therapies in the meantime. i hope you see the sun soon!

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I am sorry that you are feeling depressed. It's to be expected though with all that you have been through lately. I am glad that your therapist is helping. Take care.

Anonymous said...

Here in beautiful Toronto, we were graced with snow this evening. Not a lot, but it was still snow.

What I wouldn't do for some beautiful lilacs - they are one of my favourite flowers.

utRus said...

hang in there. i am so glad you have a therapist (me too). have faith - things can, and will, feel better. though it is so hard to see it when it's raining inside. hugs.

Valerie said...

I am also hoping the sox do better tonight. I need to exercise too but it is not working out that way for me.