Monday, April 23, 2007

waiting

No sign of any bleeding yet. My meds will arrive tomorrow and they will sit in my fridge for a few days. Then I will start injecting them. I can't believe I am going to be doing this again. I can't believe that I had to do it before, and I can't believe I'm doing it again. I can't imagine that this might work. I also can't imagine that this might not work.

It's funny how when a cycle is coming up I feel the sadness more acutely. I have been thinking of my friend E's baby and all it makes me think of are our losses. He is 9 1/2 months. I see him and I see the 6 month old we don't have. I try to push these thoughts out of my mind, but it's difficult. I know they're not productive. I'm trying to be calm, but I can't seem to be calm. I try to keep busy, but my heart isn't in anything. Though, my crafting does help. I do love that.

Anyway, I asked about the no baseline thing, and my PGD coordinator said that they do them with some cycles, but with most cycles that involve either birth control pills or Lu*pron, the chances of having anything in the baseline that cancels the cycle is quite small. If a patient requests a baseline they will do one, but I'm not sure I feel the need. Should do one?

So, we're just waiting for my period and my meds to show up, and then we're a go. Here comes the roller coaster.

6 comments:

My Reality said...

I also feel the saddness more acutely before a cycle. It is kind of bittersweet.

I am wishing you lots of luck with this cycle.

Allformybaby said...

Me too! Waiting for AF to arrive so I can start the next round!! Same boat, can't believe that I am having to do this.......and yet again!! Let's both keep our chins up and set it in the universe that it will work this time! ((huggs)) A
PS I feel jealous, my RE wouldn't let me order my meds yet!! HUH!!!:(

Mel said...

Goodluck for this cycle. I really hope it works.
fingers are crossed

Sarah said...

if they're doing bloodwork and you're just talking about the baseline u/s, i don't think that's as important.

best of luck this time around. i so know what you mean about not being able to imagine it working, but i really hope this is the one!

FourPeaks said...

I'm using Reprogntcs for my PGD too. Hopefully I can actually send them some cells this cycle (my last one was cancelled before retrieval). I just started the BCP this week,and should start the shooting-up in 2.5 weeks, so I'll be following close behind you.

I feel the same about the beginning of another cycle. How can I expect it to work this time? But how can I not do it? What would my mom think if she knew I was injecting myself with this stuff?? LOL.

Best of luck. I'll be reading!

-Emily

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I hope that AF shows up soon so that you can get going. Wishing you all the best this time around.