Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Sitting here in limbo

Do you know that Jimmy Cliff song? It's mellow.

Except for relaxing, I did all of the things on my list. I had to schedule that pickup before writing this post so I could say that. I even managed to clean the bathroom. Yay me!

Things are okay. My job is pretty good and is keeping me busy, which I like. It's also good because when the clock hits 5, I can leave and not feel bad that I'm leaving. My time is all recorded on the phones, and my time is my time and that is it. It's great that way.

I got my letter from all my test results through the RE's office. It says I should contact a specialist regarding my MTHR: +2 A1298C (which means I don't absorb folic acid properly), but my RE didn't tell me I had to do that. So I'm not sure what's going on with that.

Still waiting on hearing from the insurance company, hence the limbo. I'm sick of limbo. I'm finishing the active pills on my pack of bcp's and I'm not sure if I should stop for the week and bleed or if I should keep going in case the insurance company approves. I'm leaning toward taking the break. It will only delay it for a week or two if that's the case. Right?


I'm going to a cousin's daughter's bat mitzvah this weekend and I realized that one of my cousins who had a baby will be there with the baby. It's her niece's bat mitzvah. My mom told me I'll have to go over and see them with the baby because I can't avoid them. I'm not sure I can handle that right now. They don't know about our issues. I know that they had issues and I'm sure they did IVF. Should I email the new mom and let her know what's going on with me, thereby basically telling that whole side of the family that doesn't know? Do I say nothing and avoid her? Do I suck it up as best I can, go over say mazel tov and high tail it out of there? I think I need some assvice.


niobe said...

That's a difficult one. I'd consider a few variables.

First, are you sure the baby is even going to be there? Many bar/bat mitzvahs don't include babies and very young children or the parents choose to get a sitter so they can enjoy the celebration without worrying about the baby crying or needing to nap.

Second, why does your mother feel you *have* to greet this cousin? Is it a small family gathering or have you previously been close to this cousin? Does your mother understand how difficult this is for you? If for some reason, the situation really requires you to say something, but you don't want to torture yourself, you could plan out what you're going to say in advance, say it, and then quickly excuse yourself to get a drink or say hello to another family member.

Third, is this cousin someone you like and who might be supportive? Would you rather keep your situation private? Depending on your answers to those questions, you might consider whether it would be helpful to you to email her in advance.

That's my (very longwinded) assvice. Feel free to completely ignore and/or disregard all of it.

beagle said...

I'm a good one for lame (white) lies, but sometimes they really help.

Can you beg off baby exposure by claiming to be getting over a nasty cold and you don't want to infect the sweet little cherub, then your avoidance will seem considerate instead of rude or whatever.

That's my lame ass idea.

I hope its OK in the end.

Trace said...

That is tricky. If I was in your shoes I would call, offer congratulations, etc. etc. and send a gift.

If it makes you feel any better we aren't going to Easter dinner at my aunts house becaue my cousin had a baby at the end of February.

apronstringsemily said...

de-lurking to say that I'm also a fan of the little white lie. I think that protecting your sanity is more important than satisfying family obligations. :-P

Kathy V said...

I am sorry that this even has to be an issue for you. I know I was debating a cousin's baby shower a couple of weeks ago for some of the same reasons. I like much of the assvice that niobe gave. It gives you the option to casually stroll over yet you don't have to linger. YOu could also introduce the white lie sickness at this point too. Then it gives you the chance to say your obligatory congratulations and then make a quick getaway and you aren't forced closer to the baby than you want to be. If you feel you should so more, you can always send cousin a card and gift card to buy what she needs. Good Luck. I don't know if that helps or not.

What I learned about my baby shower situation though is even if your mother thinks you should go over, your mother is not in your shoes apparently. Also, you are not five anymore so you don't necessarily have to answer to your mother in every situation. Just do what feels comfortable for you at the time. If you opt for the card and gift card, you can explain to mom that you sent your congrats and that you just don't feel comfortable being pushed into a position where you will feel awkward and then have to go find a bathroom to cry in.

luna said...

hi, I came over from L&F to try to offer some support. I hate these situations, I just dread them. then I decide whether I can tolerate them, then I blog about them...

I like the assvice from niobe and beagle. if you have to go to this event, then don't do anything else that would make you even more uncomfortable. don't feel pressured to spend extra time with your cousin or the baby, and don't feel like you have share intimate details you don't with to reveal. so I like niobe's quick getaway and beagle's contagious cold ideas.

another alternative if you feel like you need to avoid the situation entirely without saying too much is to say that you've just been having a hard time lately and it's not easy to be around babies. anyone with half a clue will figure out that something is going on but that some privacy and discretion is warranted. yuou don't even need to take follow-up questions.

good luck. I know how hard this can be. ~luna

Susan said...

I was supposed to attend a baby shower last week and I said I had the flu. I couldn't handle going and seeing the bellies. Yes, the person for whom the shower was given for and another person got pregnant without even trying. I'm strong but not that strong. You know, the flu is going around... It is ok not to go.

Stephanie said...

I'm popping over from L&F. I just want to offer some support. I am avoiding a Christening for my SIL's 3rd baby this weekend, I just can't do it. I sent a very nice gift instead.

What ever you decide to do, make sure it's best for you. Don't worry so much what your family thinks right now.