Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Calm

I'm feeling a little better still. I still have a bit of a cough, but I'm definitely doing better.

I'm also enjoying my new found peace. I don't know how it came about so all-of-the-sudden, but I just feel different. I feel calm. I don't feel desperate. I just sort of feel okay with whatever the future brings.

Maybe it's the time off from cycling?

Maybe it is. Part of me wants to just stop cycling all together and do the adoption thing. Now. I have emailed the social worker from the agency that we think we are going to use and asked if there was a policy about treatment and starting the adoption process.

But I know we should do those final few cycles. I don't want to ever look back and think, "What if?" But I also want to start the home study. If any of those cycles worked, we'd put the adoption process on hold.

Oh, and the social worker that we liked from the agency we liked is the same social worker that did my therapist's adoptions. How crazy is that?!?

I just sort of feel like a different person. I didn't care that the Pats lost. I mean, I was disappointed, but I just felt like, "Whatever. It's only a game." And I got my hair cut today -- chopped, kind of. What do you think?


You can see my messy living room. I've been living on that couch all week because I've been so sick. Got bunches of knitting done. Speaking of which, here are the things I made my nieces. L is on the left and E is on the right. I just can't get over how grown up they are. L is going to be 11 this month.


Speaking of L, have I mentioned how incredibly talented she is? Check this out. She painted this.


Yes, really. She did. And yes, really. She's not even 11 yet. It's a friend of the family's dog, Buster. Words cannot explain how proud of her I am. She's done at least 4 pictures that are this good and they all have totally blown us away. She sketched my parents for my mom's 70th and it is perfect. I can't tell you how much it looks just like them. Incredible.

Okay, enough bragging.

In the meantime, it's election day. We're going to make pizza and watch the results on tv. T is a politics junkie.

I start my job two weeks from today. I can't wait. It's weird to me to feel this content, but I will enjoy it for now. We'll never know how long it will last. But for now, it feels pretty good.

9 comments:

Almamay said...

Thanks for sharing such a lovely post. I like your haircut too!

My Reality said...

Calm is good. I love your hair!

And seriously, L is amazing - I can't wait to see her on opr@h as the next child prodigy, and then I can say I saw her work when . . .

Tracers said...

In a way adopting is less stressful. Once you get all your paperwork done you just sit back and wait knowing you'll become a parent.

Nearlydawn said...

SO glad you are feeling good about the current state of your world. You sound like you are in a good place, for sure.

I LOVE the picture! She is REALLY talented!

Jessica at Bwlchyrhyd said...

Had you not cut your hair since your wedding? I am trying to grow mine again and it is still shorter than yours!

Samantha said...

I'm glad you're feeling a sense of calm and peace. Breaks can be helpful that way.

JJ said...

Love the hair! And seriously, your niece is VERY talented--thats amazing!
Feeling calm is something hard to come by--glad you are feeling more "Zen"=)

Susan said...

Your hair looks very pretty!! I'm glad you are better and have found new peace.

Mony said...

I always imagined you with blonde hair. I don't know why! It's nice to "see" you!