Saturday, February 02, 2008

More adoption info

Today, T and I went to an all day adoption seminar. The first part was about taking the step to decide to adopt. There were two adoptive moms and a social worker from an adoption agency. Actually, it was one of the social workers that was at the other adoption seminar we went to a couple of weeks ago.

The second part was about domestic adoption. There were three social workers from different agencies, each of which goes about adoptions in a different way. We talked about the home study and birthmoms and family.

Then there was the international adoption section. This was more boring and completely validated our decision to go with domestic. That is absolutely the right decision for us.

Then a panel of adoptive moms just talked about their journeys to their children.

It was wonderful. It really took a lot of the scariness out of this process for me. It also made T feel a little bit better about openness.

I know it was just one day, but I was talking to my mom and she asked me about the costs involved, and I heard myself saying that yes, it usually costs somewhere around $30,000, but with T's $5,000 adoption benefit through work and the $10,000 tax deduction, it ends up not being too bad. I mean, yes it's a lot of money, but T and I are lucky that we can find ways to finance the costs. I was shocked that I said this. I must be losing a little bit of my anger.

It must have been those moms talking about how they knew they found the child for them. Each of them said this in their own ways. Each of their stories resonated with each other. Each of them spoke with such love of their children. And I think there were 8 of them right there.

I know we are not done with our fertility treatments yet. We have no idea what my test results will say. No matter what the results of the tests are, the treatments may not work. They may work. We don't know. We still want to do injectables or whatever my RE recommends after the testing as well as one IVF with my eggs if necessary before we move on. I ams starting to accept the moving on part a little bit more. We do hope the treatments work. But even if it does, I do foresee us most likely adopting our second. And I really think I'm starting to be okay with that.

At least today. The adoptive moms said it is a roller coaster, not unlike IF, but once you start feeling better about it, it starts to keep feeling more and more right.

As a health update, my throat is mostly better, but I definitely caught some sort of virus too, and now I have a respiratory thing. I cough a lot at night and have trouble sleeping. I feel better, but I also still feel a little bit like crap, especially at night. And now T says his throat is getting sore. Great.

Tomorrow is the Superb0wl. Go Pats! 19-0!

My deepest condolences to Mary Ellen and Steve for losing their three little girls, Sylvia, Claire and Lucy. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling now. My thoughts are with you. I also hope Mary Ellen recovers well.


Samantha said...

I'm glad that you found the seminar useful and that you had a chance to hear from other adoptive moms. That sounds like a great seminar.

My Reality said...

It is good the seminar went well. We are going to start the adoption process before I do my next cycle, that way, when it goes tits up, I will already have something to focus on.

ultimatejourney said...

It sounds like a wonderful day. I'm really happy to hear optimism in your voice again.

Evil Stepmonster said...

I'm glad the seminar went well. This IF life always seems to be more bearable with a plan b.

Beagle said...

The seminar sounds like it was very much worthwhile.

Good Luck as you move forward with treatment and hopefuly having another plan in place will make it all a bit more bearable.