Thursday, September 20, 2007

My day at work

So, you know how I was worried that my job was near the Children's Museum? Turns out my worry was justified. I've said before, I hate it when my paranoia proves valid.

The office is in the same building as the museum, but I walk through the door and it says, "Do Not Enter" so I look around the corner. The only way in is through the museum entrance. I walk in and ask, and they say, yeah, go on in. There are scores of toddlers and moms with strollers EVERYWHERE. I go to push the button for the elevator and there's a mom and a kid there. It's the same elevator that the museum uses. I'm practically in tears as I enter.

It's a beautiful day and I go to eat lunch outside. The elevator is more full. There's a tiny baby. Someone asks how old. 2 1/2 weeks. More babies. More strollers. I sit outside. More, more, more. I start to cry as I eat my PB&J. I go upstairs right after I finish. More babies. More toddlers. More strollers. I walk into the office. I am sobbing uncontrollably. I can't calm down. I can't speak. I try to breathe and calm myself down. The grandmotherly woman in the office gives me a hug. I have to come clean. I explain to her about fertility treatments. She says, "I completely understand. I have 4 adopted children." Thank god! At least she won't think I'm completely nuts and tell me to "just relax and it will happen when you least expect it." I still feel terrible.

I'm not going to be able to complete this job. It's not worth it. I told her I would stay until they can find a replacement. This woman is the only other person in the office. It's just not a good situation. I'll call the temp agency tomorrow. I'm just not sure what I'm going to tell them.

And of course, I bought more pee sticks on the way home.

7 comments:

Sarah said...

wow, i love that grandmotherly woman in the office, how wonderful to have someone understand. that totally totally sucks, i would have lost it too.

Anonymous said...

No, the job isn't worth it. The stress that it takes on you having to endure babies everywhere is not worth it. There's no way I could endure it.

Erica

Waiting Amy said...

I'm so sorry Rachel, that's awful. You are certainly be kind by waiting for the replacement, and I'm glad there was a understanding face for you.

I actually was thinking about your work dilemma the other day. Have you considered knitting lessons? It seems to be something you love and low stress. Could you check with the local craft store (Michael's, AC Moore) and see if they need new teachers for their sessions? Or offer private lessons through your local yarn shop? It might not be a lot of money, but could grow into something substantial with knitting being so hot.

Anyway, hope you have luck with those pee sticks soon.

singletracey said...

I am sorry... at least the woman was understanding and was able to give you a hug when you needed it.

The Oneliner (Christina) said...

kudos on standing up for yourself. nothing is worth crying while eating lunch for goodness' sakes. we if'ers suffer enough and you are smart to limit it as much as possible.

Samantha said...

I'm sorry sweetie. That job definitely doesn't sound like the place for you right now. I'm glad you at least got a hug out of it. Take care.

orodemniades said...

Quit. Do not even entertain the idea of staying there. I speak from experience, having had to work with four pregnant women after I knew I wasn't getting any treatment in Britain. Panic attacks are not cool. Depression, drinking, and eating one's way to a new weight is not cool either, especially when they're the only ways you can get through a day. Crying one's self to sleep is of no relief.

Quit, as soon as possible. Please.