Thursday, September 20, 2007

Hope diminished

It was negative. Snowy white. Not a hint of color. I didn't use a cheapie, either. I used a real life store bought test. My hope is waning.

I'll probably test again tomorrow with the hope that 11dp dIUI is still too early.

I've been cranky, exhausted, had some cramping, have lots of wetness and my BBT is still very high. Though I must confess, I am boosting my progesterone a little, am I just willing myself to have these symptoms? T was sure it would be positive. He's highly disappointed.

I don't know what to think. I'm thinking it's a bust.

I have a new, open ended temp job starting today. It's located near the Children's Museum. It's in a tiny office. We shall see how that one goes. I'm not sure being near children is the best thing for me right now.

15 comments:

ultimatejourney said...

Oh no, I'm very sorry about the BFN. While it's still too early to give up, I'm sad for you that the news wasn't better this morning. I wish this process didn't suck so much.

Delenn said...

I'm sorry it was negative. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Leah said...

I'm sorry it wasn't blindingly positive. It is still too early to give up, but I absolutely understand your disappointment. I'll send you a thousand more hugs today.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

I'm so sorry! You are in my thoughts and hopefully it is just a little too early still!

Samantha said...

I wish you could have seen something definitive and positive. It's early but I know it's tough to see that white, white, space.

Sarah said...

ood luck with the new job. the location does sound unfortunate, i would have a hard time with that too.

i'm hoping it was just to early.

mary ellen said...

Oh shit Rachel. I am so sorry.

JJ said...

Damnit...Im so sorry Rachel...

Sara said...

I'm so sorry. Things could still turn around, of course, and I really hope that they do. Still, a negative test is always upsetting. I hope the next few days bring better news.

orodemniades said...

I'm so sorry it's a negative.

Can I just add that I got a negative at 12DPT, when a blood test showed a postive later that night, and another negative at 20DPT? Wait for the blood test, that's all I'm saying.

niobe said...

If you don't mind, I'm still hoping.

serenity said...

*hug*

I'm going to keep hoping. As far as I'm concerned, it ain't over until the fat lady shows up.

Thinking about you, hon.

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

I honestly think it is too early for anything to show up in a hpt. But I understand how you feel. This entire process just sucks and is so consistently depressing.

It sounds like your temp job is right near where I am working. Should we meet for lunch at some point and commiserate?

Sending you lots of love and empathy!!

XOXOXO

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry Rachel. I want to yell out to the universe that enough is enough. You deserve a break to come your way.

Erica

My Reality said...

I am sorry.