Can I allow myself some hope for this cycle? Do I dare? Is it too dangerous? I am scared to have hope. Hope has led me nowhere except to despair. But what else can I do?
It is 7 dpo. My b00bs are starting to feel pretty sore. And I am starting to feel exhausted. I fell asleep last night at 9:30 (during a Sox/Yankees game that went very, very bad) and slept until about 7:30 this morning. And now, when it's almost 9pm, I'm exhausted and cranky again. I'm not sure I can stay awake.
I can't help but feel some hope creeping in. I promised myself that with the seemingly poor timing that I would have none. I told myself with the pregnancy announcements that I couldn't make up symptoms to make myself feel better. But there it is, creeping none-the-less.
What do I do with this? I feel like I actually hate hoping. I hate hoping that things might work this time. How can I possibly hope for that? I feel like the chances of all of this working out are just so slim.
And yet. And yet.