I'm feeling pretty spent and exhausted through all of this blog turmoil. I am still sorry for those people who have had bad experiences in their adoptions. This doesn't mean they had bad adoptive parents or that anybody did anything bad in particular, but if they are feeling that adamant, something somewhere in that process has gone wrong for them. And I am truly sorry for that. I promise I will do my best to do whatever is in my power to ensure that our children will know they are loved by us no matter what and that their birth parents love them and that they can get in touch with their birthparents when/if the need arises and their birthparents are okay with it. But we never know what the future will bring.
I wish I could make everybody have a positive life experience.
All I want in this world right now is to be a Mommy.
Anyway, I'm now exhausted by this thread so I don't think I will post about it for a little while. You all can continue your comments. I will continue to moderate them.
Life as an adoptive family.
My Story
- Rachel
- 4 miscarriages, 3 failed IVFs with PGD, 2 different sperm donors, 1 diagnosis of balanced translocation. Now we are the proud parents of a boy via domestic infant semi-open adoption. We had a failed match for kid #2 and are now matched again.
4 comments:
I am sorry you are having to deal with this stuff on your blog. I think adopting a child is a wonderful thing to do. I've been following your blog for quite a while and I have no doubt that the child (or children) that come into your home & lives will be much loved & cared for. I do not believe you are 'taking' a child away or 'separating' them as I've heard others allude to in previous comments. I mean, the children given up for adoption have no place to go. Is going nowhere better than going to a home where they will be loved, nurtured & given so many more opportunities than say, the foster care system?!? Yes, there will be obstacles - but all parents face obstacles of one sort or another. You guys will find your way... I wish you both the best of luck on this path that you have obviously given so much thought to.
Sorry about all the drama. I truly believe any child or children of yours will have the best possible adoption experience and will know how much they are loved and wanted.
Some of these comments about knowing your bio parent etc apply to donor egg/sperm also.
Parents of adopted and donor-conceived children face extra challenges when it comes to helping their children feel secure about how they came into the family. There's just no way around that. But like Carey says, all parents face obstacles, I know you two will do a wonderful job navigating the challenges.
Rachel, I'm sorry that you are getting so much grief about your choice. I think you will be a great mommy and all the negative people should just leave you alone! It seems like there are so many unwanted children in this world!
I second and third the supportive comments.
I agree that you have handled this situation with such grace and poise. If it were me, I probably would have told those trolls to F*CK OFF!
But that's just me... ;)
I know you will do the best with the information you have and can get. Some people don't realize that TIMES ARE JUST DIFFERENT NOW THAN IN THE PAST. Things are always changing with any given social situation. There was a time when people who chose to not have children were just assumed to be "barren" and pitied or, worse yet, thought to be witches! Now society is finally starting to get our heads out of our asses and realize that some people just don't have the urge to parent - or realize they have bad genes that they don't want to pass on - or just know they would not be good parents - or just don't like kids so why torture themselves and any offspring they would have just to appease the masses?!
As far as adoption goes, things were different in the "old days" because there was a stigma surrounding adoption - the whole unwed pregnant teen thing and the "barren" woman - gasp - thing (because of course it was the woman who had problem!). So it was covered up and many people weren't even told they were adopted. Look at how far we've come. We've learned so much.
Anyway I'm really rambling now - carry on as you were! You're doing all the right things - chin up! :)
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