The second visit was better. I didn't cry afterward.
The social worker told T that I was "cute and endearing." I guess that's a good thing.
She asked about the neighborhood. There are pit bulls across the street which made her seem a bit skeptical, which freaked me out a little. (We had the meeting at our house for convenience sake.) But the pit bulls are generally under control and always behind a fence, so I guess that was okay.
She asked about my childhood. I had a ridiculously happy, suburban childhood so I didn't feel like there was much to talk about. I was a good kid. I didn't get into much trouble. I did well in school. Of course I rebelled against my parents, but I was and still am generally a goody-goody and I said so. I didn't get punished much because I was good. My punishments when I was a kid taught me to be a good teenager and adult. My parents instilled strong values in me and I think I am a good person because of how they raised me. I just feel like there's not much to say there.
We talked about the letter and the book some more. I told her that doing these things made me sad. She told me to try to get a new point of view with it -- that this would be a book we could show our child to help tell his/her birth story. But the fact that we will get an actual child out of this is not something I can even begin to fathom, so it's difficult for me to think about it that way. But I'm going to try.
She's going to try to hook me up with other waiting families. I am also having T come with me to a waiting families support group after work next week (even though it's kind of far) because I just need to find some other people doing this adoption thing.
I got a survey from the cryobank asking why we haven't ordered a vial in a while. I told them we were on hold due to pursuing adoption. I guess we're not the only ones who are doing that, even though it seems like it sometimes.