Monday, May 05, 2008

Symptom Watch

As it is every 7th dpo, I am now on symptom watch. I am very wary as I know my symptoms always point to positive, even though most often it is a negative. I am very aware of this fact about myself. Still, I do find myself checking myself out, symptom-wise. Last month I had extremely tender breasts but no positive, so I'm dismissing even that sign. (I do have minor breast tenderness, if you care. Which probably no one does, but alas that is why I have my blog, to get out these inner thoughts of mine.)

Aaaanyway, I'm very skeptical of any symptom I may have, as I know it is meaningless. I've had symptoms and not been pregnant, just like I've been pregnant when I haven't had any. I wish I didn't check, but I just can't seem to help myself. I don't have much in the way of excited feelings if I seem to have a hint of a symptom. I know that is simply too dangerous. But here I am, sitting in symptom watch, noticing every twinge, bit of soreness or tenderness, or any other feeling I have in my body.

It's amazing how aware of my body I am during the final week of my cycle. I notice every tiny change or any slight anything that may be out of the ordinary. If I were a regular person doing regular things, I'm sure none of these symptoms would even exist to me. I am simply making them up because I want them to be there. Sure, some of these things may actually be happening in my body, but symptom watch makes me hyper aware of each and every one of them.

I wish I could let go and forget and let my week pass as it may. But I'm way too far into this thing.

Did I mention that 14 dpo is my 36th birthday?

Oh yeah. Really. It is. It's going to be a looooong week.

6 comments:

Almamay said...

I hear ya! Every time I promise I won't go mental in the second week of the 2ww. It's worth trying but don't be too hard on yourself and keep as strong as you are able to.

Samantha said...

Once I pass that 7-day mark, I suddenly become hyper to everything. It's like a switch in my brain that says, "okay, monitor obsessively!" Wish there was a way to turn that off!

luna said...

the second week is always the hardest. I try to ignore the symptoms because of the progesterone. but hey,. whatever gets you through! hang in there. ~luna

singletracey said...

I am 10 dpo and noticing everything and with that.. 99% sure I will be moving onto IVF#3. UUGGH.. I just want to be normal and not watch for symptoms..

It is odd that we are so aware of every twinge....

beagle said...

I can't think of anything wise to say, so I'll just keep my fingers crossed here.

My Reality said...

It could make for a wonderful birthday present. Here's hoping.