I decided to post

I'm still here. Things are fine. Busy. We totally haven't unpacked. Henry has started walking! I can't believe it, still. It's so cute. He giggles every time he walks from the novelty of it all. It's amazing how much he improves every day. He keeps me very, very busy as he is the definition of an active toddler. He is still really good, but because he was such an easy baby it is quite a change for me to have to attend to him so much. He's still pretty good at playing by himself, but he definitely needs a lot more of my attention than he used to.



I guess now that we've moved we need to starting thinking about the paperwork for #2. I'm still so overwhelmed by readying this house for living that paperwork seems insane, but I don't want to wait too long before starting because I'm sure it's going to be a long wait.

I'm thinking of getting a part time job and having Henry go to daycare a couple times a week. I haven't done anything about it except look at job listings, but I'm thinking about it. I haven't started looking at daycare options yet either, but I think I want to wait until he is 15 months old, so I still have 2 months.

We love the new house and don't miss the old one at all. Well, the one thing I miss is the HUGE garage we used to have. This one is kind of small and cramped. But that seems a tiny, little thing in the grand scheme of things so I'm not complaining. It's weird getting used to being in the quiet suburbs, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. There are lots of nice people and other moms at home on my street, so that's really nice. I'm taking Henry to music class once a week. We've only gone once, but he seemed to really enjoy it.

I'm at a loss about what to say here. I've lost my blogging mojo, I guess. I'm not even sure anyone really reads my blog much anymore, but if there's something I'm leaving out, let me know. I hope everyone is doing well.

Moved

One week ago I woke up for the first time in our new house.

Things are going well. Moving day was hell, but things are better now. Sure, we're mostly living out of boxes but that's okay. My mom came on Saturday and we did the kitchen, so at least I can cook. We're slowly getting things together so that we can live here. Henry's room is mostly unpacked. It's still pretty crazy, though. Henry is SO lively that it's really difficult to get anything done. I was able to cook a little bit by gating Henry in the kitchen while I made a quick meal and I was so proud of myself. He's into EVERYTHING and he's constantly going somewhere and putting everything in his mouth that I can't even leave him for a second right now. Plus, when I put him in a playpen he cries and cries to get out. My easy baby is no more.

Of course, he's still a pretty happy kid and he still sleeps really well so that helps a lot. It just that for me, infancy with Henry was SO MUCH easier than toddler-hood is going to be. I guess that's different for many parents, but not so much here. I'm hoping there's a point where he becomes interested in toys again instead of playing with the wires that are plugged into the wall and anything else he can get his hands on. At least I have a tupperware cabinet for him in the kitchen and most everything else has safety locks on them.

As I expected, Bdog is having the biggest trouble adjusting to the new house. He's come a long way in a week, and I really think he likes the extra space. He no longer feels totally crowded in every room. However, he WILL NOT go up the stairs. The stairs from the first to the second floor has two landings. The first landing is 3 steps up. He'll lie on that. The second landing is up 4 more steps. He'll go up there, too. But there are 6 steps more to get to the second floor and he WILL NOT go up them. I even got those ugly little stair carpet tread thingies to no avail. I've tried forcing him and he growls. I've tried coaxing him with his favorite treats. He will not come upstairs.

So, starting anywhere from 4:45 am and 5:45 am he starts whining. We sleep on the third floor so I have to walk down a flight of stairs for him to see me and for me to shush him. Also, the cat has been howling starting at 4:30 most of the time. So I've been getting up REALLY early lately.

But otherwise, things are really good.

"Just" money

So our house appraised too low and the mortgage company the buyers are using won't lend them the money to buy our house, so of course we have to lower the price. Apparently the improvements we've done to the house don't really increase its value. But our hands are pretty tied here. This sucks so much. The tiny bit of money we were going to be able to have after we pay off our current mortgage has disappeared. We have lost so much money on this house. In retrospect, we never should have bought this house. But like a lot of people, we were enamored with it and the idea of being a homeowner.

T is out of his mind with anger about losing so much money. It is a lot of money. A lot. Like several years of working worth. And he feels the buyers are taking advantage of us. (We happen to know that one of the buyer's family has a lot of money.)

I am so anxious to pass papers and put all this behind us so that we can just start our life in our new house. And hopefully we will not have to move for 20 or 30 years.

I've packed a bunch, but I don't feel ready. We move on Tuesday. The new house is ready for us, though. (Well, everyone except for B-dog because we don't have a fence out back yet. I think poor B-dog is going to be miserable when we move.)

No one is happy around here these days. I hope I can convince T that it's "just" money and we need to move on.

Exhausting

Preparing to move is exhausting. In the middle of this is Henry's first birthday and he's getting so close to walking. I can't really get packing done during the day because he's into everything and during nap time I do things like shower, eat, laundry, dishes and everything else that keeps the house going. I try to pack a little at night but T is too tired after work to do much. I'm very worried that we are not going to be ready. We have 10 packing days and we've only just begun. I haven't even thought about packing our garage or our basement yet. I'm pretty terrified about this move and I just can't wait for it to be over.

My nieces are coming to stay for a few days. They can watch Henry while T & I pack. T has taken a couple of days off work so that we can get stuff done. I hope it's helpful and we can get a lot done.

I guess I should be packing.

Home

He's home!!

Time out?

Henry enjoying himself at a friend's lake house. He was really into splashing with that spoon.

I feel so busy. I haven't even had time to do any of my mommy things or hang out with my mommy friends lately. It bums me out, but moving requires being busy ALL the TIME and I just haven't been able to do anything lately. Once the contractors are working maybe I can do a little something.

We now need to start thinking about packing up. I'm overwhelmed by this, but we need to start. We are hoping to move in 3-4 weeks so be better get cracking.

Met some new neighbors at the new house. There are teen-aged babysitters there. Right next door! Excellent. I mean, my parents usually want to babysit, but if they can't or I just need an hour or two it's an excellent option.

I want to feel relaxed, but I don't. Maybe once the P&S is signed I'll feel a little relieved.

All I can think about...

is how we're going to piss away the money for our next adoption on an empty house. And these people who were going to buy our house are expecting a baby, of course.

It's funny how infertility affects parts of your life that you didn't expect.

Still not sure if they're in or they're out. I'm hoping to know for sure by the end of the day.

Bumps in the road

We're having some bumps in the road with selling the house, but I'm crossing my fingers that things will still work out. It's freaking me out a little.

I've been dealing with contractors on a daily basis. I'm bringing Henry and B-dog to the new house every day to help them get used to it. We put a pack n play in H's bedroom and he takes his afternoon nap there. As long as he has his lovey, he'll sleep. He's such a good sleeper. We're so lucky in that regard. (Well, we're lucky with him in so many ways it's difficult to count.)

Today was a sad day for me. I'm trying to get my family together to celebrate Henry's first birthday and one of my brother's family isn't going to be able to be there. I'm feeling rather angry about it right now. But we'll celebrate with my parents and my other brother's family. It's just how it is. It just feels like a big deal right now. The first birthday is a pretty significant one.

Then we hit the bump with selling the house.

I hated having a sad day because things are really good for us. I feel guilty feeling sad when our lives are truly very good, which they are.

So I'm trying to kick the sadness and remember the good. I'm sure it will be fleeting. Our buyers haven't backed out yet, so I guess that's good. I don't know what the deadline is for this so I'm not sure how long I'm going to be worried about it.

But I love the new house. I sat in the back yard with B-dog while Henry slept in his room. It was nice.

ETA:
I think they're going to back out. We're screwed. They wanted an enormous further reduction in price. We will not go down in price from what we originally agreed. Going down further will put us under water. It's ridiculous.

Have I mentioned we're screwed?

I really don't want to be ruined financially. Of my own making. It's not like someone got laid off or anything.

I feel miserable.

Under Agreement

We reached an agreeable price. I think they're getting a steal, but we can live with this.

They figured out about our mutual friend. Said mutual friend reassured me that it's perfectly ok for them to buy our house.

So, pending an inspection we should be closing in mid September.

Keep your fingers crossed!

I'm really looking forward to the new house. It is MUCH bigger and the neighborhood is quieter and full of kids. But as I look at the picture on my blog, I will miss this house. It's a beauty. Our new house isn't nearly as nice on the outside -- it's not a Victorian. It doesn't have those funky details. But it is a nice house and when we fix it up it will be even better. But I do feel a little bittersweet about letting this one go.

Offer

We just got our first offer on the house. It's pretty low, but we probably could get to a place where we could agree.

However, we looked at the names on the offer and it turns out that this couple knows one of T's closest friends. And they're expecting a baby.

I don't want to sell our house to someone who isn't a stranger. They know nothing of our awful neighbors. I feel like I should not let them buy the house as they will regret it soon.

Then again, maybe they have a higher tolerance for such things?

Plus, we haven't had any other offers and not selling this house will ruin us financially.

What would you do?

600

So, apparently I've had 600 posts. That's lot of posts. I've been blogging for a really long time now. I guess I'm bad at it now, and I know barely any people even read this any more. I mean, I don't blame people for not reading it. I only look at a few blogs myself these days. But I really don't want to retire this blog forever.

Our move is getting closer and we're closing in less than two weeks. It's scary. We haven't sold our house yet which is really depressing. We're going to lose so much money on this transaction that it frightens us a little. However, we feel really strongly that we couldn't stay in this house any longer. I love this house, but I can't say I don't regret buying it at all. I mean, I was really unhappy renting where we were renting before we bought this house. We needed to move. This house is really lovely and served us well. It just was the peak of the market and we put so much work into it. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I guess I wish I knew how iffy this neighborhood actually was. I knew it was the "city" but there are lots of streets nearby that are much, much quieter than our street. It's those two neighbors that ruin it, and I guess there was no way to know when we bought the house. If it weren't for those neighbors, we wouldn't be moving at all. So, basically we can blame those neighbors for losing us so much money. Oy. I have to talk about something else. This is sounding so "woe is me" and I don't like it. We do okay and it's "only" money. That's what I keep telling myself.

So, on to Henry, I guess.


He is turning into such a little boy. He is very busy all the time. He is so mobile now -- he can do everything but stand and walk by himself. But he pulls himself up, cruises around, sits down, crawls somewhere else and then pulls himself up. He's started moving around with his toys to bring them different places. He really won't let me feed him that much as he must do everything himself. He's got quite the independent and stubborn streak. Because he was such an easy baby, this takes us aback a little. He is, however, still a charmer and smiles all the time. He laughs easily and will pretty much always smile when I smile and laugh when I laugh.

I think, though I'm not sure, that he's started to say "Mama." But it's so difficult to tell. I was changing his diaper the other day and he looked right in my eyes and said, "Mama" as clear as day. But he does a lot of babbling, so I'm not sure if he was labeling me or if he just made that sound.

July is going to be a busy month. Really, I just hope, hope, hope that our house sells and we can forget all this bull$h1t and put this whole old house thing behind us. We need to move on.

Oh yeah. And one more thing.

Henry and I went to a party at T's office the other day. We saw one of T's co-workers who immediately cooed all over Henry. He has seen Henry before and has expressed his amazement at how much Henry looks like T. (Everyone tells us how much Henry looks like T. I understand where it comes from.) Anyway in his enthusiasm about how much they look alike this man said something to the extent of, "I mean, he looks as if he could actually be your son!"

To which I replied, "He is T's son."

But I don't think he got it.

Still here

Still here. Still haven't sold the house. We're having open houses every week -- this is the third one in a row.

Henry is now cruising around the house non-stop! He is one very mobile baby. It's crazy that just one month ago he couldn't even really crawl!

Henry had his circumcision revised on Wednesday. He's doing really well. He slept pretty much the whole day on Wednesday and after that he's just acted pretty normal. He was a little extra cranky for a day, but his teeth were coming in too so that has definitely been a part of it.

So, so much is new, but nothing is new. 10 months is such a great age!

And on and on.

No offers on the house yet. There was one family that came really, really close to an offer but decided one of the bedrooms was too small and so it didn't happen. It is so difficult when you can just taste things going well and then they just slip away. (Sound familiar? Seriously.)

We need to sell this house within two months or so, and we need to sell it reasonably close to the current asking price. I am so nervous.

Today was the first day I have been home with Henry by myself in over 3 weeks! I was really nervous about it because he's become quite mobile with the crawling since then, but things were pretty normal. We're definitely going to have to go out more because now that he's mobile he's got a bit of shpilkes and we definitely need to get out of the house. We went for a few walks today and I put him in the exersaucer on the porch.

He really likes to swing.

A break?

T and I have been working our A$$E$ off these past few days. I've been working for over a week. We've been cleaning and organizing and boxing and moving things into storage. We're soooo close to being done. The realtor came over today. We're not hitting the market til next week. And though I'm a little disappointed and concerned that we're going to take too long to sell, it is SO NICE to just sit here and not be doing something.

My mom has come almost every day for the past 10 days to watch Henry while I worked. It has been exhausting. T is off to a focus group tonight so I thought I was going to be cleaning by myself to reach the deadline for tomorrow. Instead, I'm blogging and eating leftover burrito. H is asleep upstairs and I am relaxing. It's delightful. I'm exhausted.

But we're really close and we're going to keep working this week. I'm really proud of all we have done.

We're showing my parents the new house for the first time tomorrow. That's exciting. And as I'm typing I can hear the neighbors fighting and swearing which is why we are leaving this house to begin with.

Really, tired doesn't even begin to describe it.

Not ready

So, our house is supposed to be ready to be shown on Wednesday. WEDNESDAY. I've been working all week, with my mom here to babysit Henry so that I can accomplish things. I have, but we are SO NOT EVEN CLOSE to being ready for this. I am freaking out. FREAKING OUT. Our house is still a complete mess. I don't know how we're going to keep our house neat enough to have an open house in it. How do we live in a house and keep it immaculate? We're going to have to take our microwave out of the kitchen. How do I live without a microwave?

To say I'm feeling stressed is an understatement. We have a LOT to do this weekend.

Oy.

It happened

Well, the seller of the house agreed to all of our sticking points. No compromise on our side. So, I guess we're buying a house.

I had mentally moved on from this house and expected to be able to put our house on the market before buying. Now I have to go back to the "we might have two mortgages" and "it's only money" mindset. Yikes.

It's the right thing to do. We're getting an amazing deal on this house. We shouldn't be able to afford this house. In the long run, we will be very pleased. But right now it's scary.

But I guess it's a good scary. We need to get our house ready for the market. We have A LOT of cleaning to do. Overwhelming.

Busy

Life is busy. Henry's schedule really fills the day and I find it difficult to do too much. We're working on getting a mortgage and whipping our current house into shape so that we can get it on the market.

After our home inspection we found some issues with the house. Then we found some more. We're currently at an impasse with these negotiations and I'm not sure what's going to happen. We may come to an agreement and we may have to walk away.

I'll be okay if this falls through. I find this terribly nerve wracking. I think T will have a much harder time with it, but I told him that if this doesn't happen then it just wasn't meant to be. We've decided to still put our house on the market even if this falls through. I might secretly hope that it does fall through, or at least that things get pushed out even further. But if they don't, I guess that's okay too.

Henry is getting more and more mobile every day. He had his 9 month appointment and he weighs 20 lbs 9 oz! I can't believe it! He's eating all sorts of food and he's getting very independent. He is learning to drink from a sippy cup, which I'm pleased about.

I wrote an email to CC and O. and sent them some pictures and a link to some videos. I told them we'd love to hear from them. So far I haven't heard anything. I hope they're still online enough to receive the email. I can't imagine them not online, but I guess you never know what can happen.

I feel like so much is going on that I haven't been able to hang out with my other mom friends much lately. I feel bad as I was just forming some new friendships and suddenly I haven't seen anybody in a few weeks. Henry has been taking long naps in the morning making it difficult to get out of the house. He just seems to nap a lot right now. But I still like being home and I don't think I feel particularly bored, so I guess things are going okay.

Tomorrow my parents are coming over to watch Henry while T and I clean like the dickens.

Accepted

We came to an agreement on the house.

I'm very, very, very afraid. I got major cold feet at the last minute, but my parents and T convinced me that this is the right thing to do in the long run. It will be a challenge in the short run, but it will be good for the long term.

I think I'm going to need to get a part time job.

Oy. Tell me we're doing the right thing.

Offer

We put in an offer on a house. I don't think this offer will be accepted, but we'll see what happens. We have a number that we can't go past, and I will walk away if we get there.

It's a LOT OF MONEY and it makes me very, very nervous. We can swing it, but it's going to be a change for us, I think. I'm very nervous. Have I mentioned the nervous?

It's a lot of space that can fit the dog, 2 kids and my MIL if need be.

We'll see what happens. It needs A LOT OF WORK, but it's a great community that's close to the city, you can walk to some stores and some coffee and the bus, and the schools are some of the best in the state.

This is scary and I'm not sure what's going to happen. We could back out of this easily if we get cold feet. But here we go.

And no, it's not nearly as pretty on the outside as this house is.

Quiet

Things are quiet. And by quiet, I mean busy in a normal way. Henry is beyond wonderful, as usual. He waved for the first time yesterday. He did it 2 or 3 times, so it definitely wasn't a fluke. I haven't got him to do it today, though. We'll keep trying.

He's eating finger foods and starting to move around more and more, though he still isn't doing a proper crawl.

I'm just so thankful every day that he is here, that I get to stay home and take care of him all day and that I truly enjoy it.

I guess I'm feeling a little wistful. The weather has been pretty good and we don't have to boil our water any more.