The state where the expectant mother and father live is one of those states that created laws that bars gay people from adopting. During this journey I have not wanted to use an agency from that state, even though there are a large number of birth mothers that want to place their children who live in that state.
This situation came to us, but on the paperwork we have to fill out we both have to assert that we are not gay or bisexual.
I'm having a difficult time with this form and asserting these things. It's not right and it's not fair. At the same time, I don't know that I can walk away from these expectant parents that want to make a plan for their yet unborn son.
This is weighing heavy on me, but unfortunately I think I will make the assertion on paper. Then maybe I can make another donation to Lambda Legal. That seems so lame.
ETA: I had to look at our financials for this state application, and though we had an almost 10% down payment and have been paying our mortgage for 4 years, we officially owe more on our house than it is now worth. The value of our home has gone down by about 25% since we bought it. Keep in mind that the median home value for a home like ours at the time we bought it was something like $375,000. That's almost $100,000.