Thursday, July 09, 2009

Freak out

I just looked at our employee handbook. You're supposed to give 30 days notice for FMLA. I'm supposed to give, in writing, my intention to return to work. I don't know if I'm going to return to work or not. How do I decide this?!?

I've said out loud that I'm going to ask if I can come back part time, but I'm not sure if I really want to do that or not. But the whole thing is, what if we go to Florida and come home without a baby? Then I will need this job.

I'm so scared of all of this.

I'm not sure when to tell work. I was thinking I would tell after my work trip to Florida on 7/27, but I think I have to do it earlier.

We need a pediatrician. We're going on vacation for a week on August 1st. I need to get a tune up on my car. We need to get the dog a check-up.

I have an appointment for a 'meet and greet' with a pediatrician on July 23. We haven't even seen the expectant parents' medical records yet.

I keep having appointments and missing work for sorting all this stuff out. I'm so stressed. I can't calm down. I was freaking out about organizing all the baby stuff, but it turns out that's the easy part. I feel so stressed for time! And I feel like I'm pushing the limits of missing work for all these appointments.

My MIL is coming to stay for a week. She arrives tomorrow.

I'm FREAKING OUT.
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ETA: Oh, and we can't agree on a name, either.

11 comments:

My Reality said...

I have no advice. I would be freaking out, too.

Deborah said...

If you want to keep your health insurance while you're on leave, or you are eligible to receive short-term disability, you have to tell them you're returning to work. Then you have to actually return to work, or they can make you pay everything back. But you can go in for a week or two and then claim it's just too hard to be away from the baby. Dishonest, I know, but very common.

As for everything else - wow! Worth freaking out, definitely!

Kelly said...

I agree with both of the previous posts - 1) that I would be freaking out, too; and 2) to tell them that you're going to come back and then deal with it later. Good luck with pulling everything together. I can see why you feel pressed for time - that's a LOT going on! But so exciting...

wireddesign said...

Take a deep breath! :)
I feel for you. These are the little particulars that you don't think of in time, and then all pile up at once. We're not there yet, but I worry about how all of it will fall into place when we get there. I think you just have to trust that it will...

Nancy said...

It's been awhile since I've checked in on your blog. Wow! This is very exciting. I agree with the others. Tell your employers you're coming back. There's still a possibility you will, and you can change your mind later.

Natalie said...

With my job I'll be telling them straight-up that I probably won't be coming back to work, unless something happens... but I also will not be getting paid for any maternity leave I take, so for my job, in my case, it's perfectly fine to say, "I don't know, I'll figure it out later when things actually happen." I know that's not an option for everyone. I have NO idea how I'd handle it in your case.

FMLA doesn't *need* to have a 30 day notice.... because it also applies if someone gets sick, etc. And it's not like you can give notice that you will be getting sick. Maternity leave, yeah, usually the woman knows she's giving birth. But you're adopting at the last minute. Surely they must understand that there's a considerable difference there? When the time comes to tell, can you call HR up and explain the situation? "I'm adopting - there's always a chance that it could fall through. I want to stay home and take care of the baby if it works out, but if it falls through I need a job to return to. I won't know how this will turn out until after it all happens. How can I best handle this?"

Robin said...

I would be freaking out, too, but just remember that all of this stress is going to be but a tiny blip in the beginning of your family. Everything will work out....and you will have a beautiful baby to complete your family!

I agree with the previous posters- say you're coming back and deal with it later!

niobe said...

I agree with the previous poster about notice. I certainly didn't give HR 30 days notice.

And I found that they were very understanding of all the issues relating to my "adoption" (somehow they couldn't wrap their minds around the concept of surrogacy).

Trace said...

I hear you. We brought our daughter home and I still don't know if I want to go back to work or not. It's a tough decision. I finally ended up telling them that I wanted to work part time. Currently, it's in "corporates" hands. But yes, I totally freaked out and the freakage continued because we had to stay in another state with a new baby while we waited for the interstate compact thing. Good luck with everything! It WILL be worth it in the end.

astral said...

You will find a way to get everything done. I have faith in you ;-) There are so many good names out there it is hard to pick one.

DrSpouse said...

Scary. We are also juggling "what ifs" but much more hypothetical.