I told my boss and HR today.
I was really scared. I cried a little while telling them. But it does feel like a monkey off of my back.
They were supportive and happy for me. I mentioned the caution and how I didn't want people to know until papers were signed, just in case we left and I came back a few days later without a baby. They seemed to get it.
The HR woman had a friend who was matched and the birth mother decided to parent after the baby was born. So I feel she does get it a little bit.
My boss has a crazy family story, but is pretty open about it. I'm more worried about her saying something. She said that she'd say, 'Family issues' or 'Personal issues' when she was informing people that they may have to take over some of my work. I think she's going to consult me before she decides how she's going to split up my responsibilities and maybe I'll have some control over it, but we'll see.
But I do feel some relief that I came clean.
Now I just have to worry about whether I will indeed come home with a baby or not. And a bunch of other stuff.