Friday, November 14, 2008

Trying to keep on keeping on

While we haven't decided exactly what to do regarding our book, things are slightly better today. I suspect that we'll change it around a bunch, but we most likely will leave in at least one picture of the cats. But this decision is ongoing.

T has been having trouble at work, but after a long week of fretting and freaking out, things have settled down a little in that area. Things were talked out, tentative agreements were made and it seems like his work is going to be moving forward in a reasonable way, at least for now. So that is a good thing.

I'm still totally sick of my current job, but I am living with it. My carpoolies still suck, but I am riding with them. My job is just stuck until after the new year.

I also found, on one of the many social networking sites I use, a birth mother that I was able to have a conversation with. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to be able to talk to birth moms. I feel I approach adoption with concerns, and I like to see the concerns from the 'other side' too. And it makes me feel so good when we view things similar, even while on opposite ends.

What really helped me was having both sides agree that the emptiness that comes from infertility can give us insight into the emptiness that comes from deciding to have your child brought up by another set of parents. I know that the situations are completely different, but it is the shared experience of emptiness that allows T and me to have such empathy for birth moms. And that, in turn, should help us understand how to navigate our adoption and our openness.

This has been such a long week, and I'm just so glad it is over. I hope I can find a little rest and relaxation during the weekend.


luna said...

empathy can be very powerful, and yes valuable too.

I don't see why you'd want to take out all pix of your cats, anyway.

sacredandscarred said...

I'd never have thought to parallel the grief of birth parents and infertiles. Interesting though.

twondra said...

I found you through Stirrups. Thinking of you (((HUGS)))

niobe said...

Very interesting comparison. I'm going to think about it for a while.

astral said...

I'm glad you got to talk with a birth mother and you've gained some insight. I would leave the pictures of the cats in their. They are your family too. Not too long before the new year and your new job. I'm excited for the fresh start for you!

craptastic_mail said...

can you leave the finished book with her to show while you work on the second book?

Also, an absolutely WONDERFUL book that helped us greatly is
Reaching Out: The Guide to Writing a Terrific Dear Birthmother Letter by Nelson Handel. Seriously such an easy to read, helpful book!