There are two women at work that I see regularly who are pregnant. I generally do pretty well around pregnant people -- I just have a twinge of jealousy, a small internal eye-roll and a small amount of panic that they're going to talk about it. I cannot really talk about pregnancy.
But the other day I just had this realization that I really will never, ever be pregnant long enough to give birth to a living baby. This thing that women around the world generally do, I will never do. And I will not be excluded from this thing that women do by choice. I was boxed out of it against my will, despite Herculean efforts.
I know when I have my baby (babies) I will love them more than anything. I know I am emotionally ready to be an adoptive parent. I have never been more sure of anything.
But I just can't believe I will never be part of that club. And it really does make me sad sometimes.