Friday, March 16, 2007

follicle count

I only had 6 measurable follicles, 2 on the left and 4 on the right. I have to admit I am a bit underwhelmed by this number. I know it is early, and things could change, but I feel like I really need to have at least 10 eggs for any hope of getting a transferrable embryo. I know it's not impossible for 6 eggs to work, but the more eggs, the more likely we will have something potentially viable. But I also know that just because I have only 6 measurable right now that I'll end up with 6 eggs. It's bound to change. But I still can't help but be a little disappointed. I will get a call later this afternoon with further instruction.

Update: I am really trying to shake these negative feelings, but I just can't seem to. We can only expect 1 out of every 8 embryos to be normal/balanced, and that is a generous percentage. It could be as low as 1 out of every 16 or even worse. Either way, the eggs need to be fertilized and survive biopsy and survive until day 5. I need lots of eggs to do this. With all these hormones making me nuts, I'm ready to write off this cycle as a learning experience. I know this is premature, but I can't help it. I know things could turn around in an instant, but I just have this feeling in my heart that this isn't going to work. And if this doesn't work, my next cycle will start after my 35th birthday. I know I have to calm down about this. I'm trying to visualize calm and force myself to smile. It helps a little, but I tend to obsess and worry. And this is my designated place to vent my obsessions and worry, so there it is.

I'm trying to hold it in check. I am. I am trying to visualize my happy place. Thank goodness it's Friday.

Update #2: I spoke to my PGD coordinator, and she assured me that things were fine. My E2 was up above 400, which made me happy, and she said they saw several smaller, unmeasurable follicles and that I'd keep taking my dose of medication and that things look good. I told her I was worried about just having the 6, but she managed to calm me down. So I'm a bit more calm. I will be able to sleep tonight.

Now I have to deal with all the snow.


Sarah said...

you already know it so i won't reiterate the fact that it can totally happen with just a few (did i just reiterate that? sorry). but also the follie counts this early can be misleading. sometimes they just don't see them all until they get a little bigger, and sometimes i feel like they don't look all that hard until it gets closer to retrieval time. it's disappointing though, i know how you feel. i'm sorry.

Valerie said...

I agree with Sarah it could just be to early for them to see them all. Hang in there.

Merideth said...

I agree, the follie counts early on can change (sometimes quite drastically). I'm in the same boat as you right now -- I only have 3 measurable follies which is my RE's cutoff so I too am hoping for a DRASTIC change at tomorrow's wanding. Hang in there -- that is the mantra for today. I'll be thinking about you.

Sarah said...

hurray! i'm so glad about the other unmeasurable follies. they were only counting five of mine in the beginning, but ended up getting 18 eggs.

and in response to your comment on my blog, i try to wait as long as i can to POAS. i just get tired of seeing that vast expanse of negative blank whiteness. i don't like to get surprised over the phone on beta day though, so i usually test the day before or morning of beta.

good luck w/ the snow. we've got a bunch here in DC too. if you're stuck in the house and going crazy you can always try what i did today: make a batch of brownies and eat half of them w/in 20 minutes.

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

Chin up Rachel. It's still very early. Slow and steady wins the race. Sending you a huge hug.

Sara said...

Hang in there! It's still really early. Hopefully your next scan will give you some nice big numbers.