Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Almost go time

Spoke to N today. She reassured me that she would not be changing her mind. She wants me in the delivery room and she wants to see us a few times before we leave for home. She definitely wants to keep in touch, which is more than ok by me.

She says the baby has dropped and she's feeling contractions in her back. She thinks it's only going to be a couple of days before she goes into labor. She has a monitoring appointment tomorrow. She may call for the appointment so I can hear.

There has always been a question of paternity for this baby. She really thought it was B but now that she thinks she might be going into labor, she is unsure. Because B has been there for her throughout her pregnancy, he considers himself the birth father.

This is freaking me out a little bit. The other potential father is African American, so I guess we will figure it out eventually. We have known this all along, and it obviously has pretty huge implications for our family. We may not even know when the baby is born, as complexion changes over time. T and I have discussed this and we know if the baby is biracial then we will have to make some extra effort in our lives that we would not if the baby is white. We are willing to do this. We understand its implications.

But we don't know when to bring this up with our families. We have not mentioned this as a possibility to them, and we don't really want to unless it is necessary.

So, more freaking out by me. N is 37 weeks, according to dates by ultrasound. We think she would be 41 weeks if B is not the father, but who really knows. Dates are difficult to remember about these things.

1 comment:

DrSpouse said...

We have the exact same uncertainty - but less information about dates. I think we were planning to just show family and friends a photo - seems like ambushing them but how else do you say it "bad news? Good news? The baby's birth father is AA?"

We are not even sure about the current boyfriend as the agency hasn't been assuming he's the dad - it was only her that told us she's assuming it. So they haven't even got his info or a photo. We've asked her for a photo of the two of them though and asked the agency to get his medical info.