Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Should you ever lie? Even by omission?

I am afraid to tell my friends who have young children about the death of our friends' child. I don't want to make people unnecessarily afraid. His mom really doesn't want what happened to trigger fear in parents.

It's easy enough to do with people at work.

But when good, close friends ask how I am, I feel like I'm lying if I don't tell them. I am terrible at lying.

We attended one shiva call for a toddler and another memorial service for a man in his mid-forties this week. Understandably, I'm not in the greatest of spirits. How can I not tell?

I have to tell. But I don't want to keep people up at night feeling like they constantly have to check on their kids.

It's okay to tell, right?


Anonymous said...

I think is OK to tell. It is a way to honour a precious little boy by acknowledging his all too short life.

niobe said...

If you want to tell, I think, as My Reality says, it's a way to remember.

Of course, if you feel comfortable with it, you could try a middle ground, telling the truth, but being a little vague.

So, if someone asks "How are you?" you could say "I'm feeling kind of sad. Several families that I know have recently experienced tragedies and I keep thinking about them."

In my experience, if you say something like that, people rarely ask for more details.

Foxxy One said...

It's ok to tell. People know that children die. It happens every day. We see it in the news and in our communities.

Anonymous said...

I think it's ok to tell...discreetly of course so as not to scare the heck out of parents.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

It's okay to tell. For you to get it out as much as it is to honour the life.