Monday, June 02, 2008
Last night I dreamed of a positive pregnancy test that had about 4 lines. One pink line and three blue ones, I think. I knew the pink one was for HCG, but I didn't know what the other ones were for. I knew it was weird that they were there, though. I didn't know what to do. I kept panicking and taking more tests, but the extra lines were still there. I went to the doctor and they did a bunch of tests, and the extra lines were because of all the chromosomal defects the baby had. I was going to miscarry again. I was so mad at myself for letting myself get pregnant and to hope that maybe it would be okay even though those extra lines were there. I'm not sure if I dreamed of miscarrying or that was implied. But it was a crappy dream and it's left me unsettled this morning.