Henry and school

Henry goes to two different schools. He goes to a private nursery (PN) in the morning, twice a week. Then he goes to a public Pre-K program in the afternoons, four times a week. I pick him up at PN and he eats lunch in the car and then I drop him off at Pre-K. It's pretty chaotic.

So, next month there is a week of vacation starting Feb 17. We will probably go to FL for the baby at the end of that week and stay for most of the following week.

He has been having lots of discipline and behavior problems at PN. He started out going four times a week, but he was too much for them to handle and we switched down to the two days where they have the smallest enrollment because he needs so much one on one attention.

So, with him missing half of February and me not know how I can deal with a newborn who will need to feed when I have to drop him off and pick him up and eat in the car, I am thinking about pulling him out of the morning school.

Henry tells me he doesn't really like PN. He seems to like it well enough to me, but when I ask him why he has so much trouble making good choices there, he says it's because he doesn't like it. He likes Pre-K.

When I mentioned to Henry what he thought about not going back to PK, he was all for it.

I told the director of PK that we were thinking of pulling him. She seemed pretty ambivalent about it. I feel pretty ambivalent about it too. I'm not sure if it's a bad idea or not. I do think it will make my life easier. The baby will be home in March. The weather will be getting better. We will be able to play outside in the mornings and we can even walk to Pre-K with the baby in the stroller.

Is it bad to pull Henry out of PK in the middle of the school year? I want somebody to tell me that it's ok to do.

Blah.

Information

We got some more health information about K. She is currently 16w6d along, meaning her due date is at the end of June. (We had originally been told the end of May.) She made it to her most recent doctor's appointment, which is good, since she had previously missed a couple. She is going to a perinatalogist due to her meth@d0ne treatment.

Feeling a little better about the sex of the baby. We've been talking names already, which might be dangerous. But we think we have one.

Henry has been sick a bunch and all the time I keep thinking that I'm glad I don't have to deal with an infant while dealing with all of this stuff. But I do want another infant. Sometimes I get scared of how much work it will be, but I still know this is what I want. I hope I am able to be flexible so that H can get all the activity he needs while the baby can still nap. I usually pick H up from school at 2pm. Will I not be able to do that next year?

The end of June seems a long, long way away. H will be done with school (and hopefully in some sort of summer program). My parents will have gone to Florida for two months and come back. I will have hosted our family Passover seder at our house. I will have turned 41.

But it will come and whether or not we bring that baby home, our lives will be forever changed.

So now

So, now that we decided to say no to this special situation, it put a fire under my butt to complete the profile for our adoption attorney in Florida. I'm 95% finished with it and that will get us really, truly waiting for a placement.

The expectant mom that we are not showing our profile to is due in January. January would have been a perfect time to welcome a new baby into our lives. I can't say that I'm not still sad about it, but I know it was what was right for us.

I know someday there will be a sibling for our H and that I will be a mom again. It might not be as soon as I would have liked, but that's just our lot in life.

Meanwhile, 3 is really, really tough but still really good.

Done

MIL went back home. It's funny -- it's sad to see her go, but I'm so glad she's gone. It would be nice if she could live closer, but both T and I tried to bring it up and she has no interest in moving out here.

After we dropped MIL off at the airport, we went to buy dog food. There is a Bab1es.R.U$ in the same mall, and we actually went in there and looked at car seats. I only had a couple of mini-panics, but I didn't even come close to tears. We learned some stuff and we need to do some more research.

We also walked over the the furniture department. Yikes. My parents wanted to buy us a crib. Everything looked so HUGE to me.

Since we were on a roll, I called my brother and SIL asking if we could come by and see their old furniture. I honestly liked what they had much more than anything in the store. I think we may use all of that and just buy a new mattress, pads, etc.

I've also been looking into eco-diapering. We're thinking about doing these new-fangled cloth diapers or g.D1apers. With disposables when necessary.

We didn't buy anything or bring anything home. All this will be done when we know things are truly going to happen. But I allowed myself to think about all of these things.

Intellectually I know this may happen and I'm letting myself plan a little, but I don't truly feel it inside. I don't feel hopeful or excited or optimistic. I just want to prepare as much as I can. And I know that despite holding back hope and excitement that if things fall through, I'm going to be devastated. But I'm not sure I'll be surprised.