I emailed the facilitator today.
She said don't bother to work on the Dear Birthmother booklet on my own. She'll guide us some more to make changes the way she wants and editing it further will just frustrate me. So we could just fill out her application, send her a check and then include a book with it.
She said we didn't have too many changes to make -- mostly a few picture changes and integrating the text with the images. Right now the text is completely separate.
So, when T comes home from work we'll talk about this some more. We were going to have a lawyer look a the contract first. I don't know whether we're still planning on it or not.
I was feeling resentful of all of this again this morning. Perusing facebook can be difficult because I see so many people talking about their kids and stuff. I hate feeling sorry for myself, but I do sometimes. I can't imagine this sadness ever ending.
Still just counting days til our vacation and my new job start.