Friday, April 11, 2008

Life after testing

I did pee on a stick this morning. It was very white. I was mostly expecting it to be white, so I'm not feeling too down about it. My b00bs still vaguely hurt, so I'm not sure what that's about. But there is clearly going to be no live baby resulting from this particular ovum, so that's that. We will be doing a donor cycle in a couple of weeks at the Midwife place. I have to go to that place. And by that place I mean mentally, not physically.

We haven't done anything else about the adoption thing. We spoke to another adoption agency to see if they would be good for us. They were fine. We've found three adoption agencies that are fine. We don't know what to do. I guess we're kind of frozen. I think we're going with the adoption agency that's closest to us. I literally have no preference. I don't like that. Does it mean that we're not ready for this yet?

Adoption in Massachusetts is very highly regulated, so all adoption agencies work in very similar ways. Lawyers and facilitators are not allowed in this state. If you do an inter state adoption things change a little, but the agencies have worked with other agencies in other states and they tell you (they try to be subtle because the adoption world is pretty small) if they don't like the way the other agencies work. So I honestly feel that we are reasonably safe choosing one of these agencies. We just need to choose and move forward.

I guess I'm finding it difficult to cycle and do the application at the same time. We have to write our personal biographies in order to start our homestudy. Maybe I can force us to work on that.

It's supposed to be rainy and cold tomorrow for our MS Walk. Oh well. (The donation link is still on my sidebar.)


beagle said...

I'm sorry. I know expecting it doesn't really make it hurt any less.

Pepper said...

Sorry about the BFN. I don't think seeing that empty white space is anything I'll ever get used to.

I just completed my foster-adopt application a few days ago. I was also pretty ambivalent about it so I started by gathering all the attachment that had to be included (fingerprinting, driving records, etc.). Having all the attachments gave me the incentive to start the application and I was done within a day. The whole packet only took me a week to complete. There are still other things I have to do, but the main part that gets the ball rolling is done.

However you decide to approach that adoption application, just take it a piece at a time and it won't be so bad. Hopefully it will all fall together easily for you.

My Reality said...

I hope the walk has gone well today.

I am sorry about the negative, it doesn't matter if you know it is coming, it still sucks.

ultimatejourney said...

I'm sorry.

singletracey said...

The good thing is you still find hope you in each month and that shows strength :-)