Wednesday, January 13, 2010

a little better

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm feeling a little better now. It must have been mostly hormonal.

I do belong to a mom's group. I go every Tuesday morning and it's been great. I also have an adoptive families play group once per month and I went today to yet another adoptive families information session. I do try to plan something to do every single day to get out of the house. Plus, Henry and I go for a walk in the afternoon with B-dog most days which is yet something else to do. Usually I feel so busy that I look forward to a morning when I don't have anything going on.

But my hormones (I'm guessing) made me feel lonely. Since the trouble with my friend, I've been feeling insecure in friendships and like I need to make new friends. I'm trying but I haven't found anybody new that I really 'click' with so far. I mean, I enjoy my groups a lot, and there are two adoptive moms that I'm 'friend dating' to see if either of them really click, but just have felt that affinity lately.

And I had that I have to 'friend date.' It sucks. I used to be so good at making friends, but lately I feel like I just don't like anybody. It's difficult to meet people, but I want to have some friends who have kids around Henry's age.

Also, my parents are leaving for FL next week and I guess I'm feeling a little lonely and sad about that, too. I know that if I have nothing to do my mom will always be up for a little visit from Henry and me. But now that's not going to be a possibility for 2 months! It makes me feel a little more lonely.

Happily, I do have some lovely friends from here in blog land that I see, some more often than others, and I do know I have friends around. But I definitely need to work on this 'friend dating' thing. Yuck. Sigh. I thought I was done with that sort of thing when I met T. But regular dating is even more socially acceptable than friend dating.

I just have to push myself, I guess.


ultimatejourney said...

I go through ups and downs with these types of feelings. I completely agree that while there are many moms around to meet, it's really tough to find the 'right' ones. It really is like dating. In fact, my mom has even 'set me up' -- with her physical therapist, whose son is days apart from A :) (She swears it was b/c the PT needed friends, not me, LOL.)

It has taken me time, energy, and dumb luck to find good people to hang out with as a SAHM. My best advice is don't pressure yourself too much -- just keep doing things you enjoy. You'll meet someone when you least expect to.

Oh, and I'm often on gchat (with my IRL email account) if you need to vent or just see if we're bored too and looking for a get-together. It's my first name dot maiden name :)

K77 said...


Robin said...

I totally know how you feel about the friend thing. I used to have lots of friends, and slowly over time they have moved away or we have drifted apart. I really missing have a good, close girl friend. I have a few that I hang out with but none that I feel that close to anymore

The blog thing is a quick fix but not always the same. I hope you find someone you click with soon! Friend dating sucks!

Delenn said...

I totally get the friend dating thing--I have been trying for 10 years to find women that are fun to hang around and who have children around the ages that are mine. And. I found a few, but they are also always busy...and it just never gets easy to get together. If I am working they are home; if I am home, they are working, etc.

That was one reason I joined the Ruby Feathers club, trying to connect with SOMEONE. BTW, this is a group of infertiles in Boston, they are trying to do social get togethers (like there is a cookie bake in Feb). I have a badge for them on my blog.

Sue said...

I think it gets harder to make friends as you get older. Everyone has less time and we all probably get a lot pickier. It may take time, but you'll find some people you like.