Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Thanks

Thanks for all your well-wishes. Yes, I'm blogging again. My MIL just left after being here for a week and I have to get some things out there.

First, I wanted to acknowledge what Holly said in my comments in that though I am not thankful for my infertility, I do think it has changed my perspective on things and I am much less likely to take things for granted. That is absolutely true.

Now, I just want to gripe about my MIL. She would stare at Henry and point out the tiniest physical flaws. The one I remember most clearly is that he has one pointy ear and one rounded ear. (?!?)

Then I showed her pictures of CC and O. to show her how much he looks like O. Then she said two things which I wish I had a response to. "I don't know how they did that. I could NEVER give up my baby." That one I've heard about and though it caught me off guard I blurted out something about circumstances and you just don't know what you would be able to do in a different place. It wasn't good enough and I didn't talk about what a loving choice it was. I was disappointed with my response, but I was just not prepared.

The second thing she said was, "I'm just so glad that they gave birth to him and didn't have an abortion." Ummm.... I just don't know how to respond to that. I have NOTHING to say to that. How do you respond to that?

I hate how much she drives me nuts, but she really really does. I hope it didn't show through too much. She did enjoy her time with Henry despite her saying constantly how she doesn't know anything about babies any more and she doesn't know what she's doing, and about how fat and what a blob she is. She's a hypochondriac and comes up with all these insane theories about why she doesn't have any energy. I have never seen her where she didn't say, "I'm feeling better than I was, but I just haven't got my energy back." Seems to me she hasn't had her energy since I've known her, but whatever.

Anyway, enough b1tching on my part. Thanks for listening. Let blogging break commence again. :)




9 comments:

Blessed said...

I don't know how they did that. I could NEVER give up my baby."

that was my MIL favorite line when she came to visit I finally said " Faith's bmom has a love that we coul dnever understand for her daughter. A love unlike anything we have ever known or will ever have to know. She is brave and courageous and she didn't GIVE her baby up she chose a better life for her..."

she still said it about 8 more times that weekend...

MOTHER IN LAWS!!!

Kelly said...

Wow, she sounds like a piece of work! I can't believe she would make those types of comments... about her own grandson!

Sue said...

I don't have any good responses to her comments either, but Henry looks perfect to me!

Foxxy One said...

Your son is perfect. Having 1 pointy ear and one round ear is exactly as he should be.

I'm sorry she said those mean things and I hope that as your son ages and matures, she does the same.

Robin said...

It sounds like she has no idea that those things are hurtful. Ugh.

At least it sounds like she lives far away! ;)

birthmothertalks said...

As a birthmom, I used to hear that same comment on how they could never do that.that's why I never really had anyone to talk to about adoption. However, I bet that most people can't do it. Letting go and allowing someone else your child goes against what feels natural as a Mom. Of course this is just my thoughts. Adoption makes people say weird things.

littlezen said...

Wow, you must have nerves of steel. Hopefully it wasn't a long visit. I don't know what I would have said either. You stood up to her though. Henry is beautiful, perfect, and your son.

call me mama said...

My mom said crap like that all the time during the first year. She was sure they were both having learning problems- that they were sick all the time- that there was to be some impending doom to look forward to (genetically). What we've learned is that she really is not confident about caring for our boys. So we limit our expectations of our grandparent/grandchild relationships. A tough row to hoe- but good to make the realization when they are 2.5 and 3- and not keep worrying about why she can't feed, dress, bundle, drive, give snacks, etc. She just doesn't. Best of luck to you and your Henry. We have one too!

niobe said...

Omigosh. Those comments are absolutely unbelievable.