Sometimes I feel so spoiled. Here I am at home trying to figure out how to juggle dropping something off at my brother's house, feeding Henry, walking the dog and showering all in time to meet some other adoptive moms for coffee. Such problems to have, right? Poor T is miserable at work and this is what I'm struggling with.
I know T wouldn't be happy staying at home full time -- it's just not his gig. But I do sometimes feel guilty that I get to grapple with things like this, which I honestly don't find particularly stressful, when he is really stressed out at work. He tells me to not feel bad about it and I try not to, but sometimes I just can't help it.
Even though I wasn't due back to work until next week, I'm definitely feeling like resigning from my position was the right thing for me to do. I am so glad I didn't have to go out and find day care for Henry. That is such a daunting task and I am not envious of people having to do that. I know at some point I will want Henry to go, whether I start working or not, but for now having him home with me is such a luxury and I am so happy that we were able to make it happen.
It's so weird that I'm feeling so 'lucky' lately. I'm so used to walking around feeling bitterness toward everything all the time. I can't say that all of my bitterness is gone, as I still have acute feelings of bitterness related to our infertility. But I don't generally walk around feeling bitter toward everything constantly. It does come up from time to time, but it doesn't color everything anymore. I'm not sure whether or not I'm having a difficult time re-adjusting. I seem to do okay. My shields are up a lot, but I'm not sure that things are being thrown at me too often.
People ask how Bdog is responding to the baby. Bdog is generally indifferent toward Henry. It's the cats I worry about. Exhibit A: