Wednesday, September 30, 2009

All good

I'm still here. I guess I don't feel like I have too much to say. Motherhood is the best. I absolutely love it.

My biggest concern is still about work. I've sort of decided that I want to quit my job and stay at home. However, I feel like I can't know that for sure unless I try working part time. I also feel like it would be terrible for my already lousy resume to quit. But when I think about returning to work, I basically want to cry because I feel so strongly that I do not want to. I wish I could convince myself that not going back to work was the right thing. I'm not sure why I can't accept that about myself, but I seem to be having a difficult time with that. My husband fully supports me no matter what I do. I think he wishes I would believe myself and just quit and stay home. But there's just this lingering feeling in my stomach when I think about quitting that I'll regret doing that some day.

Henry is growing. He's hit six weeks and is really changing. All his predictability has been thrown out the window. One day he barely napped at all, and the next day he slept all day. His night sleeping continues to improve and now Bdog is more likely to cause me to be sleep deprived than little H is. Between the two of them, though, it definitely alters my sleeping patterns. I wish Bdog didn't start getting hyper at like 5:30.

We sent a 6 week letter and email to CC and O. We didn't hear back from them. I can't say I'm not disappointed, but I do understand why they didn't reach out. Maybe next time. I'm going to send another email in November.

Nothing else to report. I guess I see why people stop blogging after becoming parents. I'm not planning on doing that, but right now I don't have too much time to report on my parenting and adoption experiences.

Oh, I am trying to facilitate an adoption group that meets once a month, locally. It's meeting for the first time on Saturday. I'm interested to see how that goes.

Henry just spit up on himself. Gotta go!


Kelly said...

I'm glad to hear that things are going well. I think I can understand your predicament about going back to work. It's probably a tough choice for any mom - you want to be with your child but you also worry about your future professional options. I wish you peace as you come to your decision.

E said...

I would not think twice about staying home in the least! Your baby's early years will go by so fast. Besides does it really look that bad on your resime to say you left your place of employment to take care of your infant? I don't think so. :) :) I say go for it.

Almamay said...

So pleased to hear things are going so well. If I was in a position to give up work till our son goes to school I wouldn't think twice. I've just qualified as a solicitor and yes I have my career to consider but could care less about the 10 years it took me to qualify. It was something to do while waiting for our family. I wish my DH had a job that could support us. I play the lottery instead. Fingers crossed.

Stacie said...

I am so glad that things are going well! :-)

As for the work thing, you still have a bit before you must decide, right? I am sure you'll figure out what is best for you and your family when the time comes.

Robin said...

Great idea about the local adoption group. What a great way to give something back to the community.

I'm so glad you love mommyhood. Your little guy is adorable!

Delenn said...

Glad you are enjoying being a mommy.

Deciding whether to work or not is one of the hardest choices a mom can make. Maybe you could work part-time for a while?

Anonymous said...

Quit your job. You can always go part-time later on.

Honestly, I think the best thing you could possibly do right now is just be a mommy. You deserve it.

DrSpouse said...

Gorgeous all round. Lovely blanket too!

niobe said...

Yay for improving night sleeping!

On the work thing, I'm sure you'll make the right choice for you. How about giving yourself a limited time to try it out?

Like, I'll work part time for 6 weeks (or whatever number you think is reasonable). Then, if you're not happy, quit.

ultimatejourney said...

As you know, I have a lot of the same hangups about not working. But I'm falling more and more in love with being home. It can be a little slow at times, but between errands and playdates and other activities, the time usually goes by pretty quickly. And I figure I should take advantage of the time when A still thinks I'm the cat's meow :)

Trace said...

My biggest hang-up about staying home was that the adoption wasn't finalized. I kept thinking that I was giving up a job that I had been at for 9 year and paid well. They said no to me working part-time so the decision was ultimately made for me. It was hard to get used to being at home and I find making friends the hardest part of it all. It's totally worth it though. When you are the one who is there for the first time he rolls over or for his first word instead of a daycare worker you'll be glad.

Sue said...

Whatever you decide to do, your baby will be fine. He's adorable - I'm glad you're enjoying motherhood so much.