Thursday, October 03, 2013

Non compliant

Some days, like today, I truly believe it was a blessing in disguise that our adoption fell through. I don't think I could handle H and an infant. He generally won't do anything he is asked to do. It is not just me. It's his aunts and uncles, his friend parents, his teachers, his grandparents, everyone.

He is currently having a tantrum about taking a shower. Everything with him is a power struggle. Nothing is more important to him than winning or getting his way. 

No one has really been able to help. The behavioral person the Schools sent over just recommended sticker charts. Those worked for a few weeks, but he has lost interest. Nothing seems to motivate him to do as I ask. Not candy, not the iPad, not TV. 

It is incredibly difficult to parent a child like this. I feel like I have no control. I cannot get places on time. I am constantly feeling like I'm going to cry. I yell. I resent... I don't know what I resent, but I resent something. I am so angry. I need help but I feel like I can't find it. 

Sometimes, like today, I feel like I don't know what I'm going to do.


ultimatejourney said...

*Hugs*. I have definitely had these days, and have definitely lamented the difficulty of parenting a child with a challenging temperament. We had recently gotten to the point with A where there was a lengthy tantrum about some minutia pretty much every day. I stumbled on the notion, which is more accepted in the alternative health community than the mainstream medical community, that food intolerances can cause behavior problems. It really never occurred to me that she could have food issues (despite the fact that she's had eczema on and off over the years) but I was desperate enough to try anything that seemed harmless (i.e. not medications). So we have embarked on something of an elimination diet. I've been eliminating things slowly, and haven't reintroduced anything, but behavior improved dramatically after dairy was cut. I'm now motivated to do the full elimination diet to see if there are any other contributing foods (and slightly terrified to do the test to confirm that dairy is a huge contributor to her tantrums and lack of cooperation.) I highly recommend this book:
I always believed in my heart of hearts that things could be better for A (and for us as her parents) and I'm now seeing that as a reality.

L said...

Have you talked to your pediatrician? It could be many things, anxiety, a hearing issue?? One of our friend's sons was very...erm...temperamental and it turned out he had a severe gluten intolerance that was causing his gut to leak. That will make anyone grumpy and non-compliant.
I think this just needs more investigating. Don't beat yourself up.
I am sorry you are having to go through this. I hope you find answers soon.

Delenn said...


Has he been tested for ADD or other such issues?

I hope that time helps with him.