Everyone hates Mondays

After having received the initial paperwork from Boston IVF, they tell us to check with our insurance providers to see what's covered. Living in Massachusetts, I know I have better coverage than many people. I don't know if having a BT makes IVF 'medically necessary' but if it does, then we're covered. But it says that IVF is excluded if we're having it to make sure we don't pass down a male genetic disorder. Is that what we're doing? I don't know. If they do say that our IVF is just to not pass down a genetic disorder then PGD is not covered either.

It is so frustrating to have all of our health information judged by some panel of doctors somewhere. And one type is passable, but another is not. And I know for a fact that we are well covered compared to most people in this country. I'm not going into a complete tirade here, but let me just say that this country needs some health care reform.

Anyway, this all is making me want to just naturally conceive and take our chances. Though, I see how much hurt people in our same situation are going through. That's not to say a failed IVF attempt is any better. Is it? So many couples are trying to hold out some hope. I wish them all the best. And I've heard from the people for whom IVF has worked and for whom natural conception worked. So it is possible, and it's important to have hope.

But having hope is a challenge as well. Tabor's having a difficult time with that. And now that I've talked to the stupid HMO, I'm not feeling particularly hopeful today either. When both of us are sad, it is not a good thing.

And here I am at work. I'm feeling like I'm physically incapable of working anymore. I mean, I can do a few rote things here and there, but when it comes to thinking work, I'm completely useless. Work is slow, which is good. But I need to get away from these blahs so I can be productive in some way.

Perhaps productivity is overrated.