We got a call from the social worker who is working with K. We found out the baby is a boy. We also found out that she is possibly one month less pregnant than she originally thought.
So, to me, this is significant. Is the baby measuring really small and therefore not healthy? Or is paternity different from what she had originally reported?
This seems even more complicated than before.
Also, I'm feeling guilty that I am the tiniest bit disappointed that it's a boy. I would have loved to have a daughter too. I mean, I'm not so disappointed that I would ever change my mind about the match over the sex of the baby or anything. I really just want a healthy child. But I have to admit that I was a little bit hoping to have one of each. I feel terrible about that.
On a happier note, the social worker talked to K about openness and why it is good, and it seems she is thinking about accepting a little bit of openness. This definitely pleases me. I would like to have a little bit of openness in both of our adoptions.
Life as an adoptive family.
My Story
- Rachel
- 4 miscarriages, 3 failed IVFs with PGD, 2 different sperm donors, 1 diagnosis of balanced translocation. Now we are the proud parents of a boy via domestic infant semi-open adoption. We had a failed match for kid #2 and are now matched again.
6 comments:
I'm pleased to hear about the crack opening in the opennness - not sure what to say about the gestational age - longer wait for you I'm guessing - do you know about when she found out she was pregnant? Because friends who have perfectly normal relationships with a single person and who know about their cycles have also been told they are less pregnant than they thought, when they were actually right. I have heard the measurements are inaccurate after a certain stage anyway.
I think doctors can tell the difference between a misdated pregnancy and a baby who's small for other reasons, based on the many measurements they take of all the organs, etc. during the ultrasound. Sorry that things seem even more complicated.
I think it's completely reasonable to be a smidge disappointed about the sex of the baby. It's nearly impossible not to have a slight preference one way or the other. Don't beat yourself up.
So glad there is a possibility of more openness!
I wonder if m***adone is associated with babies being small for gestational age. Just a thought.
And I totally understand about the twinge of disappointment. I was convinced that my oldest was going to be a girl. And was shocked when he turned out not to be.
Is the agency going with her to the dr appointments? I don't mean to sound weird, but I don't know if you remember we had that whole scam situation. The expectant mother had turned in someone elses ultrasound to the agency. It was only when someone from the agency went with her that we learned it was a different sex and due on a different date. All it did was make us not trust her which turned out to be a correct call.
It's terrible for me to ask, but is the agency going with her to the ultrasound and everything so you know everything is true and honest?
More openness is great! We have a totally closed adoption and it always makes me sad.
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