All good

I'm still here. I guess I don't feel like I have too much to say. Motherhood is the best. I absolutely love it.

My biggest concern is still about work. I've sort of decided that I want to quit my job and stay at home. However, I feel like I can't know that for sure unless I try working part time. I also feel like it would be terrible for my already lousy resume to quit. But when I think about returning to work, I basically want to cry because I feel so strongly that I do not want to. I wish I could convince myself that not going back to work was the right thing. I'm not sure why I can't accept that about myself, but I seem to be having a difficult time with that. My husband fully supports me no matter what I do. I think he wishes I would believe myself and just quit and stay home. But there's just this lingering feeling in my stomach when I think about quitting that I'll regret doing that some day.

Henry is growing. He's hit six weeks and is really changing. All his predictability has been thrown out the window. One day he barely napped at all, and the next day he slept all day. His night sleeping continues to improve and now Bdog is more likely to cause me to be sleep deprived than little H is. Between the two of them, though, it definitely alters my sleeping patterns. I wish Bdog didn't start getting hyper at like 5:30.

We sent a 6 week letter and email to CC and O. We didn't hear back from them. I can't say I'm not disappointed, but I do understand why they didn't reach out. Maybe next time. I'm going to send another email in November.

Nothing else to report. I guess I see why people stop blogging after becoming parents. I'm not planning on doing that, but right now I don't have too much time to report on my parenting and adoption experiences.

Oh, I am trying to facilitate an adoption group that meets once a month, locally. It's meeting for the first time on Saturday. I'm interested to see how that goes.

Henry just spit up on himself. Gotta go!

Happenings

We had the hearing test today. He passed! His hearing is within the normal range. I suspected his hearing was fine because of his reactions to noises. However, it is still a relief to have a test confirm it.

I sent off our first letter to CC and O. yesterday. I printed some pictures and wrote what I could think of. I feel like our letter is woefully inadequate. I do plan to send them and email with some additional pictures this week. I want to tell them to let me know if they want the electronic versions of the pictures we printed. In fact, I just looked at the contract we signed and I think I left out some information that I'm supposed to supply. But I'm hopeful that because I'm going to encourage them to ask if there is something they want to know that we didn't include, that this will work out.

I feel so crazy busy. People keep telling me that I might get bored, but at this point I can't imagine it. I still worry about what's going to happen with work. I went back to visit yesterday and no one did anything but assume that I'm going to come back to work full time. I'm not. In fact, I'm dreading the idea of returning at all. I'm definitely thinking about staying home, but I haven't made any final decisions yet.

I just made myself worry about the letter and pictures. Dammit, I hate when I do that. I tend to lose sleep over things like this.

Things are good. I love being a mom, and I definitely feel a lot more like a mom. Our boy is precious, and I know he is comforted just by my presence or my voice. I can't believe this has finally happened to me. I am enjoying every minute of it, even the exhausted ones.

First Smiles

Henry is growing. He's over 10 lbs and he has acquired a new talent!

Adorable

Duckie Butt!

One Month

Little Henry is one month old today.

We finally gave him his first 'submerged' bath (instead of a sponge bath). He handled it like a trooper. He is such a good baby and sometimes will even go almost 5 hours between feedings at night. Too bad it's from about 8:30-1:30 instead of like 10-3... but I'm not complaining. I know how lucky it is that he can even go that long.

He is waking up more and focusing a little more every day. We are so happy to have him as our son.

I have to start writing our first letter to his birth parents to be sent to them at 6 weeks and would love some advice about what to include.

Happy one month little Henry! We love you!

Busy

I'm very busy!

Today I went to a New Moms group in my city. It was small and a little shortened today, but I think I'm going to go next week. It was good to have a destination and to have one or two other people to talk to baby stuff about. I told of Henry's adoption from the get-go and the facilitator and the other mom there were very supportive. The other mom had a friend who went through infertility and adoption and has an 8 month old. She was very empathetic and nice.

We keep having visitors, including the delightful ultimatejourney and her darling A who is incredibly cute.

Henry is eating and sleeping on a reasonable schedule, but is generally up every 3 hours -- sometimes he'll go almost 4 at night. Nothing to complain about, but I do still feel a bit tired. No matter H's schedule, I walk B-dog between 6:30 and 7 am every day while T gets to stay in bed and feed Henry when he's ready. Then I walk B-dog with Henry in the sling in the afternoon. I've used the stroller, but I find that more difficult. T ordered me a longer leash to see if it makes the stroller easier.

We have another pediatrician appointment tomorrow morning, and then on Thursday we're going to Ike@ with E and toddler S to look for some furniture. I need a cheap platform bed to replace the guest bed that used to be in Henry's room. I also possibly need a rug for H's room.

I try to nap every day, but don't necessary get there. Henry is definitely awake much more often than he used to be.

His circumcision has healed (thank god) and he's scheduled for a hearing test the third week in September because he failed his newborn hearing test. I'm generally not concerned about this because a lot of babies fail their newborn hearing test, but I am a little concerned from time to time. I try to not think about it.

The annoying thing is this is a sleeping test and they want me to bring Henry to the office tired and hungry. It warns you to not let your baby sleep in the car on the way over to the test. Now how you get a tired and hungry baby to not sleep in the car on the way to an office? That's just stupid. Please.

I'm trying to find adoption groups in the area and it's not as easy as it seems like it should be. I know there are a LOT of adopted people in the metro-Boston area, but they don't seem to get together that much. I found one that meets once a month outside of the city. I'll go to that, but of course the hearing test is at the same time as their next meeting.

It looks like Henry may finally be settling down, so I think I need to, too. Maybe I can get a cat nap in!

Post Placement visit

We had our first post placement visit with our social worker today. As I've read on other people's blogs, it was quite relaxed. We talked about the dog, about CC and O. and about little Henry. She was of course enraptured by his adorableness. We shared the story and talked about his habits a little. She asked if it seemed real.

It's starting to seem more real.

We showed her the room and discussed new mom groups and if there was an adoptive mom/adopted kid group. I know there are a ton of the former, but I'd really like to find the latter. I'm sure I'll organize something. I just know being friends with other adoptees has been invaluable to my niece.

It went well. Two more in the next 6 months.

Henry is getting a little more fussy. He's hungry -- gotta run.

I like it when he does this.

growing

Someone gained 13 oz in a week!