Paperwork

H slept over my parents' house so I could try to get some paperwork done for baby #2. This paperwork is so awful. It makes me want to cry. I hate doing it SO MUCH. I'd rather go to the dentist, and if you knew me, you'd know that means something. I cannot stand the dentist.

I'm sitting here trying to complete this crap and not cry. I just cannot stand all this intrusiveness. We are not that organized and getting all this information is really difficult. I just hate it. I HATE IT. I hate doing this. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.

But every night I feel guilty that it's not complete. I need to complete it. I will feel so good when it's done.

It's just so very difficult. So difficult. I hate it.

Application

I've been putting off filling out our adoption application. I wanted it in by 1/1, but who knows if that will actually happen. I finally filled out a few forms tonight.

I forgot what a huge pain in the ass this is.

*sigh*

No wonder I've been putting it off. I have to force myself to do it. It's just so challenging. It's hard to fill out paperwork now for something I don't expect to come to fruition for two more years.

But I have to make myself do it.

Bleargh.

I decided to post

I'm still here. Things are fine. Busy. We totally haven't unpacked. Henry has started walking! I can't believe it, still. It's so cute. He giggles every time he walks from the novelty of it all. It's amazing how much he improves every day. He keeps me very, very busy as he is the definition of an active toddler. He is still really good, but because he was such an easy baby it is quite a change for me to have to attend to him so much. He's still pretty good at playing by himself, but he definitely needs a lot more of my attention than he used to.



I guess now that we've moved we need to starting thinking about the paperwork for #2. I'm still so overwhelmed by readying this house for living that paperwork seems insane, but I don't want to wait too long before starting because I'm sure it's going to be a long wait.

I'm thinking of getting a part time job and having Henry go to daycare a couple times a week. I haven't done anything about it except look at job listings, but I'm thinking about it. I haven't started looking at daycare options yet either, but I think I want to wait until he is 15 months old, so I still have 2 months.

We love the new house and don't miss the old one at all. Well, the one thing I miss is the HUGE garage we used to have. This one is kind of small and cramped. But that seems a tiny, little thing in the grand scheme of things so I'm not complaining. It's weird getting used to being in the quiet suburbs, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. There are lots of nice people and other moms at home on my street, so that's really nice. I'm taking Henry to music class once a week. We've only gone once, but he seemed to really enjoy it.

I'm at a loss about what to say here. I've lost my blogging mojo, I guess. I'm not even sure anyone really reads my blog much anymore, but if there's something I'm leaving out, let me know. I hope everyone is doing well.

Sent

We just sent in all of the paperwork. They should receive it on Monday. All of our bureaucratic registry forms were sent in too. I royally messed up the fingerprints, though. Hopefully it can be straightened out, but we may have to do that over again.

I know this might actually happen, but I feel strangely unattached from this. T says I'm just protecting myself. That's probably true, but I keep thinking how what I'm currently doing will have to work differently not so long from now. Maybe.

But the paperwork is in and we'll soon be on record as the prospective adoptive parents of a baby.

We have to find a name....

Vacation != miracle

So, having the good vacation s.ex didn't make us a baby. AF is here and how.

Not that I expected it to. I didn't. I'm still not tracking my cycles, though the EWCM is always obvious. And I know that the right things happened at around the right time. But apparently being in a good mood and feeling relaxed doesn't actually help. People just say it does.

And despite my past few PMS-y and sad posts, I've been doing quite well. Turns out that caffeine agrees with me. (Yay coffee!) And generally speaking I've been in a pretty good mood.

But despite the old bitch's arrival, I'm still feeling pretty okay. We've decided (well, mostly I've decided and T has agreed) that we're not going to be doing a dIUI next cycle either. I've been too happy to put myself through another cycle. I need to just let go and relax as I've been. We still have the 2 more vials, but we still have another year of storage. We have a year to make a full decision.

Our S.ex Offender Registry info came back to us. Happily, neither of us is a s.ex offender. Yay!

Have a wedding to go to tomorrow. I'm not a big fan of weddings, but it is what it is. I'll know a bunch of people there, so it shouldn't be too bad. The weather is okay today and I think T and I are going to go eat tips and drink beer and watch the Sox game.

Things are okay.

The Blues

I'm feeling sad right now.

I'm waiting for T because we need to go to a party to say goodbye to someone who just had his last day at T's work. He and his gf are moving out of town. Neither of us want to go to this party, but we feel obligated. T didn't go to the after work goodbye drink thingy, so we're going to go tonight. I don't want to go. I just want to stay at home and feel sorry for myself.

Today I filled out the sex offender registry form, the CORI check form, the CORI check for DSS form and a request to get my birth certificate because neither my parents nor I know where the original is. It's some good steps, but it sucks to fill these things out. It just makes me remember how unfair this whole thing is. We still need to have one of the CORI check forms notarized before we send it off. We found a copy of T's birth certificate when we were in Oregon. I have a copy of our marriage license. So there are a bunch of things to check off of the list. We had our TB tests check today and we both were negative. My doctor's visit form is complete. T's will be in a couple of weeks. I know that's something, but I just feel like crap. Crap.

Well, T has come downstairs and we have the address, so we're off. Maybe going out will take my mind off of things.

The fireworks last night were pretty damn good. It's always good to get out of the house.