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When I die, am I going to be labeled H's adoptive mother and CC his mother? I don't begrudge her that title. She is truly his mother and gave him life. I would never recognize her as anything else.

But I'm his mother too.

(It was this article that made me write this.)

Paperwork

H slept over my parents' house so I could try to get some paperwork done for baby #2. This paperwork is so awful. It makes me want to cry. I hate doing it SO MUCH. I'd rather go to the dentist, and if you knew me, you'd know that means something. I cannot stand the dentist.

I'm sitting here trying to complete this crap and not cry. I just cannot stand all this intrusiveness. We are not that organized and getting all this information is really difficult. I just hate it. I HATE IT. I hate doing this. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.

But every night I feel guilty that it's not complete. I need to complete it. I will feel so good when it's done.

It's just so very difficult. So difficult. I hate it.