Bdog just made it up the back stairs.
I feel stuck. On one hand I want to send Bdog back to the rescue to find another home while he's still young and pretty rescue-able. I love him and I want the best for him. I fear that once we have a second child I will absolutely not be able to handle him and that if I wait another year or two before sending him back, things will be worse for him. I fear that as H gets more and more active, the dog will have less and less tolerance for him. Bdog has growled at both H and a 3-year-old visitor at our home.
On the other hand, I want to push through this. When the snow melts, things won't be as bad. I'll be able to walk with a stroller again and being outside with Bdog and H will be much more pleasant.
I don't want to be one of those people who takes a dog into her home and then gives it back. I've always felt those people are irresponsible and I consider myself very responsible. I made a commitment and I need to see it through. I should enlist a behaviorist and possibly put Bdog on some medication to make him less anxious.
But honestly, I don't want to put that much work into a dog. It's difficult enough for us to have a child. Why should having a dog be this difficult? I just feel like I want to be free.
I still don't know what I'm going to do.
4 comments:
Sigh. Just throwing out a few ideas -- ignore them if they don't seem helpful.
-- is Bdog's inability to walk up stairs possibly something physical?
-- is there anything you could do to make things easier for you?
I know that a lot of people hire dogwalkers who come every day (or even 2x day) or send their dogs to doggy daycare -- some doggy daycares I think even have a pick up van, so you don't have to do any transportation. Would some idea like that help lessen the burden on you?
If you're going to have guilt about it, I would try a trainer. Then you can know that you have tried everything. Do you guys have Barkbusters up there? They are awesome and come with a lifetime follow up agreement. Maybe set a date and if by whatever date you pick he is not set then you go ahead with finding him a new home?
You're the only one who can decide how much you can handle. I know it's hard because I have an extremely neurotic dog that really dislikes children, and I had her before my son was born. Actually, neither of my dogs nor my cat care much for my son now that he's a toddler and growling does happen. It does require work, but for me it's manageable (probably because I work and we're not all home together all the time). We also can separate the dogs from our son with baby gates and doors when we need to, but that may not be an adequate solution for you.
I don't know what the right answer is in this situation. But FWIW I think that you are being as responsible as possible, given the circumstances. Sometimes the most responsible thing to do is to acknowledge that it's really not working out.
That said, I know how much Bdog means to you and I hope some of the ideas from the more dog-experienced people will improve things.
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